Page 69 of Promise Me Never

So I drop my arms and back slowly away.It’s temporary.I say the words over and over in my head, drilling them into the wild thoughts of love and hope, which have no place sprouting here.

It’s temporary.

Twenty-Six

LUKE

* * *

It feels like Eli is trying to put distance between us. When we got out of the hot tub last night, I tried to pull her into my room, but she declined. Her reasoning was sound, that we needed to get actual sleep for the hike today, which is true.

What she doesn’t know is that I sleep best beside her. It’s addictive, the warmth of her body pressed against mine, vibrant and alive. I can feel her breathe and listen to the steady thrumming of her heart. My own personal metronome.

So selfishly I don’t want her putting space between us. I want us to spend what little time we have wrapped up in each other. I don’t want her worrying about who knows and who doesn’t. She’s an adult. I’m an adult. We’re both consenting.

Each step she takes away from me makes me want to pursue her that much harder.

“How did you sleep last night?” Colt asks as we walk along the trail.

“About the same as usual.”

“I was hoping the fresh air would help.” He scratches his cheek, the stubble rasping against his fingers. “And getting you away from work.”

“I’m relaxed,” I reassure him. “This is good. Last night was fun.”

He nods and then gestures to the girls and Sam ahead of us on the trail. “I’m glad the girls are all getting along. Makes the trip more fun to have an even number.”

“Yeah, no fifth wheeling here.”

“Exactly. Although no one’s coupled up, so that doesn’t really matter.”

“I can’t get over how beautiful this place is.” Eli’s voice carries back to us. She stops to look around, her curiosity and intelligence never more apparent than it is right now.

“I’m surprised your parents never brought you here. They’re geologists, right?” Colt asks. “It doesn’t get more rocky than the Grand Tetons.”

“These aren’t their type of rocks.” She bends down and picks up a small rock, her thumb rubbing over the surface. “The Tetons are made of granite and gneiss, which are igneous. My parents study sedimentary rocks, primarily limestone and something called karst. I spent my childhood traveling to places with sinkholes, caves, and springs.”

“Oh, so you’resmart, smart.” Sam nods. “Because you lost me after granite.”

“Or you’re just a dumbass,” Janey says.

He gives her the finger.

“No thanks.” She smiles sweetly in return and continues up the trail.

I turn my attention back to Eli as everyone else follows my sister. The place we’ve stopped at overlooks Jenny Lake. I glance up the trail to see we’ve been left behind. She smiles as I wrap my arm around her shoulders and pull her toward me in a half hug. Innocent enough but still a bit of contact to satiate my need for her.

“What are you thinking about?” I ask.

“How much I hate that question.”

I chuckle before turning serious. “Your parents.”

She sighs heavily and nods. “They still haven’t reached out since telling me I couldn’t bring Charlie home. It’s like they just don’t care at all.”

My arm drops to my side as she steps away, wiping tears. Her sadness creeps through me, growing like vines along my bones. I want to wipe her pain away as easily as I can her tears. Holding myself back feels unnatural.

When she turns back to me, her eyes are dry again. She lowers her sunglasses and plasters on a fake smile for me. “Let’s go. They’re probably wondering where we are.”

---