Page 3 of Promise Me Never

He pulls his hat off as he enters, and I finally get a look at him without it. His hair is chestnut brown and a little long, curling a bit at the ends. The little grin he gives Grandma softens the harsh lines of his face, making him almost boyish. It’s unsettling, so I turn to finish my cookie while she asks him how the drive was. I tune his answer out as I take in the vast panorama in front of me.

The ranch is situated on hundreds of acres in a valley between High Point Ridge to the east and Hayes Peak to the west. A creek cuts through the property separating the cattle pastures from the horse stables and orchard. The rows of peach trees are just starting to sprout leaves for the season, hopefully they’ll be able to be harvested by the time I leave. There’s nothing like walking out of the house and plucking a peach from a tree and biting right into it.

The valley is surrounded on all sides by a national forest, so aside from our buildings, there’s nothing but nature. The closest town, Douglas Creek, is half an hour in the opposite direction of where we came from. There’s about five thousand residents, and from what I remember, everyone knows everyone’s business.

I don’t turn around until I hear Luke’s heavy footsteps fade. I grab another cookie while Grandma looks me up and down with a keen eye. Her once blonde hair is now streaked with gray and white, hitting her shoulders in a pin straight bob. She’s aged so well, her delicate fair skin only showing a minimal amount of wrinkles and fine lines until she smiles.

“You look good, Grams.” I shove the rest of the cookie in my mouth and chew.

“You look grown up. So beautiful.” She walks toward me and places her palm on my cheek. “Have you had to start beating the boys away yet?”

I scoff. “Not even close.”

“Really? Are you ever leaving the library?”

“Caught me.” I smile guiltily. “I’ve been so focused on school I haven’t really given myself much time to enjoy college life.”

“We’re going to change that this summer.”

“That’s the plan.” I look around the familiar kitchen with its dark green painted cabinetry and pine floors. “But I want to help around the ranch, too. Especially with the horses.”

“How long has it been since you’ve ridden?”

“A few months. A friend of mine has horses stabled just outside of LA. She takes me with her as much as possible.”

“Good. You won’t be rusty then. Why don’t you go get settled for the rest of the day? We’ll take you out for dinner tonight in town, and then tomorrow you can get into the swing of things with your grandpa.”

“That sounds great.”

I walk from the kitchen through the great room with its two story river rock fireplace and moose heads hung on either side to the staircase made of pine logs. A massive chandelier made from elk antlers hangs in the entryway. It’s sometimes hard to imagine my dad, a fan of minimalist home décor, growing up in such a mountain lodge type of home.

The bedroom I’ve always slept in faces west with a large deck off it. They installed a hammock when I was little where I used to lay out and read the days away. It’s still my favorite place to kick back with a book.

All of my bags are lined up at the foot of the large four-poster bed. I lift them onto the mattress and get to unpacking. Even though it’s going to be summer soon, I know the nights will still be chilly, so I’ve packed a lot more than I probably need. Better to be over prepared than not enough, though.

After I get everything put away, I walk out onto the deck and look out to where they’re feeding the cattle. I recognize Luke’s truck as a cloud of red dust kicks up followed by a line of cows as he dumps the feed. A few guys on horseback and two dogs follow up at the rear of the herd.

Luke pulls his baseball cap off and wipes his forehead with the bottom of his shirt. I’m too far away to see anything, but it doesn’t stop me from looking. I wonder if he was just in a mood today or if he’s always like that. I hear him raise his voice as he calls out to one of the guys, but the moos of the cattle muffle his words.

Just as I think to myself that I should stop watching them, he looks up at me. Even with all the distance between us, I feel the weight of his gaze. If he had been nice at all, I’d wave or smile; instead, I turn my back and walk into my room to change for dinner. One thing my generally sheltered life has taught me is that it’s okay to make others earn your kindness.

Two

LUKE

* * *

Steam fills the air around me as hot water beats down on my shoulders. I didn’t finish work until nearly nine last night because of my impromptu trip into Crested Butte. Probably could have been nicer to Paul’s granddaughter, but seeing my dad that morning put me in a shitty mood to begin with. At least my annual visit with him is taken care of now.

My eye catches on my wedding band as I towel off. The audacity of my father to tell me it’s time to take it off. My tenth wedding anniversary is in two weeks. Even though Amy, my wife, died eight years ago, it still feels wrong to look at my finger without it. I’m so sick of everyone in this town asking me when I’m going to move on.

Never.

I loved her with my whole fucking body. I still do.

After I finish getting dressed, I walk into the kitchen of my little cabin and pour some coffee into a thermos. Hayes Peak is just turning pink as the sun reaches the horizon. There’s some patchy fog over the pastures as I walk out of my place and down the dirt path to the stables.

“Morning,” Paul says as I walk into the tack room. “You didn’t have to get down here so early today. I saw you working when the girls and I got back home from dinner last night.”

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