Page 62 of All Signs Point to Malibu

“They’re gone?” Hailey asks, panicked again.

“You can keep the Kama Sutra designs. Free of charge,” Yates says graciously.

Hailey’s white-knuckled grip on the edge of the counter says she’s fighting for patience. “I’m not sure those will work for our guests. Do you have anything in the display case that we can get in a hurry?”

“Not enough to accommodate your numbers. There was a rave last night at the club down the street...late-night munchies are good for business. I’m so sorry, Hailey.” Yates’s voice is truly remorseful.

Hailey takes a calming breath. “Okay. It’s okay. We will figure it out.” She disconnects the call and I’m impressed by her composure.

“We’re stuck with these?”

“Yep.” She bites her bottom lip as she stares at the erotic desserts, molded in various shapes.

The old me would gloat about the fact that she had to have decadent, expensive desserts and the whole thing backfired. I would remind her that my suggestion of hot dogs and burgers on the grill would have been problem-free. But instead, I just want to help her solve this mess.

I open several drawers until I find what I’m looking for, then take out some baking utensils. I roll up my sleeves and get to work.

“What are you doing?” Hailey asks, moving closer.

“Making them look less X-rated,” I say, cutting off edges and smoothing out the frosting to blur the images. Sorry, Yates!

Hailey moves even closer and admires my handiwork. She tilts her head from side to side. “Holy shit, that might actually work.” She picks up a cut-off piece and pops it into her mouth.

I reach for one and do the same. “Still tastes fantastic.”

“So good,” she says, reaching for another piece.

We continue to eat the discards as I work and then the next thing I know...

In a psychedelic haze, dressed only in our underwear, Hailey and I lie on floaties in her pool and stare up at the clouds. I’m wearing Hailey’s oversized, diamond-encrusted sunglasses. I point to the sky as various shapes emerge in a brightly colored effervescence. I’m completely oblivious to how I even got here and somewhere deep in my subconscious I’m freaked out, but too high to care.

“That cloud looks like a unicorn,” I say.

“Do you hear the palm trees singing?” Hailey says. “It’s magical.”

“What if we’re all just in a mason jar?”

“And the stars are the airholes.”

Wow. Mind blown.

I fight through the mild confusion as I watch her listen to the melody of the palm trees. I blink several times and shake my head to clear the fog. “We can’t serve those desserts.”

Hailey still looks slightly dazed, but she too seems to be coming around. “Hot dogs on the grill, it is,” she says as she paddles her way to the edge of the pool.

She climbs out and the sight of her in her pale pink underwear and matching bra has my mouth watering. I’m completely lucid now.

She checks the time on her cell phone and gasps. “How is it after noon already? How long were we floating in there?” She scrambles to put her shorts and tank top back on over the damp underwear. Wetness seeps through the shirt and her nipples press against the fabric.

Lingering effects of the hallucinogen kick in and the nipples start glowing and rotating like a spiral. I blink it off and try to focus on her voice. She’s panicking about something...

“The...tables...should...have...arrived...by...nowww.” Her voice sounds like it’s been filtered through a slow-motion special effect.

Tables. Right.

She calls the rental company and I watch her expression change as she listens, then disconnects. “Is no one in this city competent?”

“No tables?” I’m still too high to be fazed by it.

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