Page 40 of My Vampire Plus-One

I managed a small laugh, gesturing to his coat. “You must be joking.”

“I’m not joking,” he said. “If I were joking, I’d say,Three guys walk into a bar. The fourth guy ducks.”

I bit my bottom lip, determined not to laugh. But I was grateful that he seemed as eager to defuse the rising tension between us as I was. “Seriously, though. Why are you dressed like…like…”

He stared at the sleeves of his coat as if seeing them for the first time. Then he gave me a sheepish smile. “It’s cold tonight, but Frederick doesn’t have any winter coats. I had to improvise with what’s in my closet. Turns out this was the closest thing towinter coatI own.”

“Hold on a second,” I said. The eye headache from a few moments ago was returning. “Why doesn’t Frederick have any winter coats even though he lives in Chicago? And why isthatthe only winter coat you own?”

Reggie gave a one-shoulder shrug. “We don’t feel it when it gets cold, I guess. Not like you do. But I thought if I didn’t wear a coat at all, I’d stand out too much.” He glanced at his phone before I could ask any more questions. “We should go if we don’t want to be late. And don’t worry. I promise I’m wearing a nice shirt underneath this. I’ll take off Old Fuzzy when we get to the party.” He grinned at me. And then, almost as an afterthought, he added, “I nicknamed this coatOld Fuzzyback in the ’60s.”

And then, as though the reveal that he’d named his ugly coat decades before either of us were evenbornmade perfect sense and wasn’t worth further discussion, he opened the back door to the waiting Prius and motioned for me to get inside. Anespecially gallant gesture for somebody who I was increasingly convinced was more than just passing strange.

“Um. Thanks,” I said, scooting inside the car and closing the door behind me. Sophie’s dress was so tight and so short the bottom hem hiked all the way up to just below my crotch when I sat down. I winced, trying to tug it down as much as the too-tight fabric would allow.

And then Reggie was sitting beside me, and our Uber driver was taking us to our first official fake date.

TWELVE

Excerpt from the BoisterousBulleters Discord Server, #welcome-channel, dated two days prior

REGINALD_THE_V:Hi. Am I doing this right?

REGINALD_THE_V:Okay so my name is Reginald

REGINALD_THE_V:I’ve been a bullet journaler for about a week and while I didn’t think it would be my thing it’s been REALLY helpful in processing my shit

REGINALD_THE_V:(Sorry for swearing. I hope that’s okay?)

REGINALD_THE_V:anyhoo the lady at Joann Fabrics suggested I check out this group to get new ideas. I’m not great at the internet or stuff like that but happy to be here

TACOCATTUESDAY:Welcome Reginald!

BRAYDENSMOM:Welcome! And yes you’re doing this exactly right

ADELINETHOMPSON:Hi Reginald!

ADELINETHOMPSON:And don’t worry, we swear all the dingdang time in here

ADELINETHOMPSON:Also, because I’m curious—do you go by “Reginald_the_V” because you’re the fifth Reginald in your family?

REGINALD_THE_V:thank you for the warm welcomes everyone!

REGINALD_THE_V:and uh no the “V” stands for something else

BRAYDENSMOM:Please don’t tell me it stands for “VIRGIN”

LYDIASGOALS:OMG it’s a MAN!!

Amelia

My phone started buzzing withnew texts the moment our Uber pulled away from the curb.

SOPHIE:How did my dress go over with Reggie?

SOPHIE:Did his eyes fall out of his head?

SOPHIE:I want a full report later

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