Page 20 of My Vampire Plus-One

“Novels.”

“Novels?” I laughed.

“Look,” she said, growing serious. “It doesn’t matter what literally dozens of books I have read about the subject have to say. I’m just saying it’s a risk. I mean…look at you.”

“What do you mean, look at me?” I asked. We’d been friends for a very long time, and I knew she thought my never-seen-sunlight complexion, the near-perpetual bags under my eyes, and the nondescript brownish-blondish shade of my hair made me irresistible. My reflection in the mirror and my dating history begged to differ.

“You know what I mean,” Sophie said. “And either way, Mr. Dungeons & Dragons looks like he fits the old-enough-but-not-too-old requirement.” She chanced a glance at me. “He also doesn’t look like a violent felon.”

I snorted. “I mean, I’m not sure you can tell just by looking at someone if they’re a violent felon, but—”

“He’s also really cute.”

My heart skipped a beat. He was. And thoselips?

Who was I kidding? He wasmorethan cute.

I wrinkled my nose anyway to mask my agreement. “I still don’t see it.”

“Sure, Jan,” she deadpanned. “I mean, Marcus and I have been together forever, but if he weren’t around, I would not kick Mr. Dungeons & Dragons out of bed for eating crackers.”

I turned around to face him again as I pretended to consider what she was saying.

“I suppose…” I began, then trailed off. “I suppose if I’m actually going to go through with this, not thinking he’s cute would be a plus.”

“Probably,” Sophie agreed. “You falling for whoever you tap for this role would be just as inconvenient as him falling for you.”

I rolled my eyes. “There is no danger of my falling for anyone.” Because there wasn’t. I hadn’t really, truly fallen for anyone in over five years. My experience with Matt had likely cured me of ever falling for anyone again.

“Sure,” Sophie said again, clearly not believing me. Then she tore off the list she’d started and handed it to me. “I gotta go home, unfortunately. The sitter can only stay until eight. But keep listing criteria for your fake date. That will make it easier for you to pick someone.”

Again, I couldn’t disagree with list-making. If I was going through with this nonsense plan, it made sense to go about it in an organized way.

“Okay,” I agreed. “I will.”

Sophie gave me an affectionate peck on the forehead. “Okay, hon. I’ll see you later. And if you do end up asking out Mister Tall, Strange, and Handsome, let me know how it goes.”

“IfI ask him out,” I said, placing extra emphasis on theif, “I promise you will be the first to know.”

But even as Sophie walked away, I realized that given that I only had a few days to find somebody, it might as well be him. He fit all the criteria Sophie and I had just come up with.

And he’d said he owed me one.

True, he did seem a bit strange. He looked normal enough here, but last night had been a different story. Then again, I was strange, too, wasn’t I? Wasn’t everyone a bit odd, in some way or another?

And if he ended up beingcompletelybizarre…

Well. It wasn’t like we would ever see each other again after Gretchen’s wedding.

I gathered up the list I’d made with Sophie and slipped it inside my briefcase.

I was going over to that man’s table and giving him my ridiculous proposal.

Just as soon as I worked up the nerve to do it.

SEVEN

Excerpt from R.C.’s bullet journal, written in blue ink, with multiple crossed-out words

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