Page 103 of Time for Change

The day I should be professing love to the woman who owns my heart. Sadly, she has no clue how much she means to me because I didn’t tell her. Actually, I’m glad I didn’t. It would have been worse to confess my feelings, only to have her walk out the door just a short time later. Talk about the ultimate kick in the nuts.

Instead of spending time with Stevie, I’m with my kids. We’re doing a Valentine’s Day pizza and movie night. The pizzeria is offering a special heart-shaped pizza tonight, which should be delivered any time, and we’ve already determined we’ll stream the latest Disney movie afterward.

If I can’t spend the day with the woman I love, then I want to spend it just like this.

With my kids.

“Dad, can I use your phone?”

I glance over to Gianna, who is finishing setting the dinner table with plates and forks. “Why?” I ask.

“I want to send a message to Mom and tell her Happy Valentine’s Day,” she informs me.

Pulling out my phone, I type in the security code and tap on the messaging app. I pull up Mya’s name and hand it over. I’m about to tell her to stand beside me while she sends her message, but there’s a knock and the ringing of our doorbell.

“Pizza!” Christian hollers, running toward the front door.

“I’ll be right back,” I tell Gianna before moving quickly to the front to stop Christian from just opening the door.

I’m pleasantly surprised when he pauses and hollers, “Who’s there?”

“Pizza delivery,” the voice on the other side of the door replies.

Christian looks through the window at the side of the door and replies, “Yep, it’s him, Dad!”

I nod as he slowly unlocks the door and pulls it open. I have the tip ready to go, so I hand over the cash as the deliveryman pulls the pizza from the insulated bag. When we have our order in hand, I wave off the driver and relock the door.

“Did you wash your hands?” I ask my son, who groans in reply.

“Can I wash them after?”

“After you eat?” I ask, chuckling.

“Yeah, cause then I get pizza faster!”

“No, go wash up now.” He takes off down the hall to the half-bath, while I bring our dinner to the kitchen. “Wash up, and we’ll eat,” I tell my daughter, who has slowly come out of her funk.

Over the last week, she has appeared more and more like the spunky, sassy Gianna we know and love. She told her mom she was happy about the baby, but worried she wouldn’t get tospend as much time with her. Mya informed her she’d have to split her time a little differently, but that the new baby would be a blessing to the family and she’d always have mother/daughter time for her. That seemed to appease Gianna a little.

Add in the fact they got to tour the new house on Thursday night, and both kids love their new rooms. They even get to decorate it the way they want, including picking out paint colors and flooring.

If only it were that easy where Stevie was concerned.

Pushing her out of my head, I reach for my cell phone, which is sitting on the counter. Gianna comes in and stops me right before I grab it. “Leave it on the counter, Dad. This way, we’re not being held hostage by our devices during our meal.”

My eyebrows shoot up in question.

Did my nine-year-old just say that?

The one who would live on a cell phone if we’d let her?

But I do as suggested, realizing she’s right. I leave my phone on the counter and join the kids at the table. We dive into our heart-shaped pizza and cheesy breadsticks. The kids tell me all about their Valentine’s Day parties at school yesterday, and I do everything I can to sound excited by their stories.

But my heart is longing for Stevie, and nothing I do or say makes that pain go away.

***

I’m just crawling into bed when I realize I don’t have my phone. It’s still down on the counter where I left it for dinner, and then afterward when we watched the movie. Surprisingly, I didn’t miss it. I enjoyed just being present with my kids.

---