Page 86 of If Anything Happens To Me

I was silent, waiting to hear what else she would say.

“My lawyer told me not to talk to anyone.” Abigail paused. “Especially not you or any other family members of Fitch’s victims. But, Oli, you’re the one I most want to talk to. I don’t have any excuses. I know that saying I’m sorry isn’t enough, doesn’t mean anything to you . . . but it’s true. If I could go back in time, everything would be different.”

“You knew what Fitch was doing?” I asked. “The whole time?”

“I didn’t know. Not right away, not with Eloise.”

“But you were right there, in the attic,” I said. “What did you think was going on? You told me you saw her, that she talked to you, that she wanted to go home to me . . .”

“I kept thinking he would let her go,” she said.

“But he didn’t. And then he took Iris and Hayley.”

“I hate myself for it,” Abigail said. “Oli, as awful as the things Fitch did were, I felt more loved by him than I do by anyone else. He cared about me so much. He did it for me. I can’t stand that. It’s unforgivable.”

“It is,” I said. But I could see the anguish in her face, hear the guilt. I couldn’t imagine what it must be like to be her—neglected by her mother when she was sick and scared, loved only by Fitch. Her brother who had done such terrible things.

“The police are not going to arrest me,” she said. “But I think they should.”

“Abigail . . .”

“It’s true. That’s why my lawyer told me not to talk to anyone. He says I’m lucky not to be prosecuted, and he doesn’t want that to change. But I want it. You do, too, I’m sure. You want to see me punished.”

I stared at her. She was so pale, it was almost as if I could see her blood running through her veins. I saw the grief pouring off her, and I knew that she was being crushed by remorse.

“You’re already being punished,” I said. “I can tell. You’re doing it to yourself, Abigail. Arresting you won’t change anything. And . . .” I thought it would be hard for me to say the next part, but it wasn’t. “I don’t want that for you.”

“You don’t?” she asked, her voice breaking.

I shook my head. “I really don’t. I want you to get help. You need it—not just because of the parasomnia, but because of what he did to you. He hurt you, too, Abigail. He manipulated you. He knew all about your condition, and he tried to make you an accomplice. But you weren’t.”

“But I . . .”

I interrupted her. “You’re the reason we were able to escape. You did everything you could to help. It wouldn’t have been possible without you.”

She looked shocked for a minute, that I would say that. The remorse was still in her eyes, but I saw a little relief beginning to shine through.

“Thank you, Oli,” she said.

“You’re welcome. What’s next for you? What are the plans, now that your mother is home?”

“Not for long,” Abigail said. “She can’t wait to get away from me—and from what Fitch did. She is planning to get back out there, on the road after the trial. She had to cancel some dates in Europe, but Barcelona awaits. Geneva and Brussels, too.”

I didn’t know what made me do this, but it wasn’t hard at all. I guess you could say it came straight from my heart, because it seemed I didn’t have control over my words or actions, they just happened.

“You have me, Abigail,” I said, leaning over to hug her. “It’s not the same as family, but . . . we’re a different kind of family. We were in the attic together. We understand each other.”

“I think we do,” she said.

“You’re going to get better,” I said.

She shook her head with discouragement, but I believed that to be true.

And as time went on, it seemed that I might be right.

The news was full of stories about the case. Some reporters had delved into the Sibylline sisters. They had tried to interview Daphne, but she had seemingly disappeared. Not really, though. Minerva was hiding her in an apartment upstairs from Mermaid’s Pearls, protecting her privacy.

Other journalists focused on the medical aspects of parasomnia. They uncovered other cases, wrote about its rare and devastating effects. How no one really knew how it started, how some people died from it and others survived.

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