Page 80 of If Anything Happens To Me

He stopped and leaned on the shovel.

“Don’t you get it, Oli? Other girls were casualties that couldn’t be helped.”

“Other girls?” Matt asked.

My blood ran cold. “How many people have you murdered? You’re a serial killer?” I asked. “Or are you talking about the future? Girls youwouldhave murdered?”

Fitch glared at me.

“I couldn’t stand seeing what Gale was going through,” he finally said. “She was in pain. She couldn’t rest, couldn’t have healthy sleep, couldn’t look forward to a normal life. Every minute of every day she’s worried that she might not survive the night . . .”

For a moment, I heard what I thought was compassion. But Fitch quickly changed direction, made it about him.

“It was unbearable for me. Do you know how it felt, to see her that way? No one could revive her until the spell ended—that’s what the stupid doctor in Boston called it at one point, when she was just twelve! As if she was Sleeping Beauty. As if a witch had cast a spell on her.”

“Is that why you turned to theHammer of Witches?” I asked. “And the gold dust? The feather? Covering all your bases?”

He reddened then, as if ashamed he’d gotten caught deviating from the path of pure science—his excuse for everything. But rage overcame embarrassment.

“I think of the sibyls as witches,” he said. “And all the girls who brought this on ourfamily. Daphne, Circe, Athena. My sister. My mother. So I went out of my way to find the perfect ones. The AB negative girls who’d escaped parasomnia. Who managed to sleep through the night withoutdying. Like you, Oli. Like Eloise.”

I felt fury, hearing him say her name. But I needed to hear him continue, talk more about why he’d done this.

“I could have gotten you both that morning, if you hadn’t caught the early bus,” he said. “That had been my plan. Seeing Eloise alone at the bus stop messed me up so bad. It made me overreact, if you want to know the truth. I hurt her worse than I would have if you had been there.”

His eyes glinted. I could see he was trying to bait me, so I forced myself to stay calm.

“I really should have grabbed you both when we were bird-watching at the blind,” he said. “You were so excited about the black-throated blue warbler. You and Matt. It was almost cute. And then Chris asked Eloise to track owls that night, and she swooned, she couldn’t wait for it. And, Oli, you were so big-sister-y, all ‘are you rushing it?’?”

“You heard us?” I asked.

“I know how to listen,” he said.

I felt Matt wanting to charge at him, but I took Matt’s hand to hold him back.

“This place must mean a lot to you,” I said to Fitch. “To come back here today.”

He nodded, glaring at me.

“Why here?” I asked. “Why did you take Eloise and Iris here? And why come back here now?”

“My parents’ marriage fell apart because of Gale,” he said, a total non sequitur. “They just gave up. My dad left, and my mom stopped bothering with either of us. Because she’s a doctor, and how do you think it made her feel, Gale having this condition?”

“Pretty terrible,” I said.

“Fitch, you’re sick,” Matt said. “Come on, Oli, let’s go—the cops can get him.”

“Iwas going to make it all better, come up with a cure,” Fitch went on, ignoring Matt. “If I’d just had more time. We could have been famous, Fitch and Abigail Martin, the brother-and-sister team. She had the disorder, I was going to find the cure. That would have shown my mother.” He took a deep breath. “And that’s why I came here those times . . . to show my mother.”

“What do you mean?” I asked, feeling the back of my neck tingle.

“This place,” he said, waving his hand. “This beautiful, scenic spot in the Braided Woods. She used to bring us here when we were little. My dad was still with us then. She’d pack a picnic, and she’d set it up right over there . . .” He pointed at the clearing just beyond the crevice, where I had found the charm. “We’d eat sandwiches and fruit salad, and drink lemonade, and play hide-and-seek.”

“Where would you hide?” I asked, feeling sick because I already knew.

“In there,” he said, pointing at the crevice where he had buried Eloise and Iris. “And guess what? No one ever found me.”

He stood right there leaning on his shovel, next to the open grave, staring defiantly at me and Matt.

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