Page 22 of If Anything Happens To Me

“Hey, Fitch,” Matt said. “Oli and I have a question for you. Call me when you and Chris finish banding.”

In spite of everything else that was going on, my whole body shimmered when I heard him say “Oli and I,” our names together.

“They’re still banding?” I asked.

“Yeah,” Matt said, looking over at me. “I would have stayed, but you said you needed help.”

He had chosen to come to me instead of staying with them. I had to look out my window so he wouldn’t see how what he said had affected me.

We drove into the Braided Woods, toward the crevice. Iris gasped in recognition when she saw the spot, so we pulled over and all three of us got out of the Jeep. We walked around, searching for any kind of clue that would jog her memory. I stared down at the ground, looking for gold specks, like the ones I’d collected in my evidence bags. But I didn’t see any. It seemed possible that the wind had blown them away.

Iris wandered ahead of Matt and me.

“Where is she from?” Matt asked, taking advantage of the fact she was out of earshot. “Not from school . . .”

“No,” I said. “Definitely not. She says she has no idea.”

“Doesn’t know where her family is?” Matt asked, with the same disbelief in his voice that I had initially felt. “But she remembers Hayley?”

“Yes,” I said.

“If she was with whoever hurt Eloise, she must live near here.”

“She doesn’t knowwhereshe lives,” I said.

“What does she say about the person who took her?” Matt asked.

“She knows it was a guy, but she can’t remember his face.”

“How areyou?” Matt asked, stepping closer to me. “This must be terrible for you, Oli. Here where Eloise . . .” His words filled my imagination with images of my sister, what she had gone through right here, within sight of where we were standing. A tremor went through me, and he noticed. We were standing so close to each other. He started to put his arm around me, and I leaned into him. I felt his warm breath on my cheek.

Iris let out a loud, frustrated sigh. “Nothing,” she said, walking back to us, and Matt and I stepped apart. “Or, at least, nothing before you found me here, Oli.”

“We’ll keep trying,” I said. “Don’t give up hope.”

“Right, we’re just getting started,” Matt said as we all climbed back into the Jeep. My heart was still thudding from what had almost happened between us.

“I keep thinking of cats,” Iris said. “Maybe I was a cat in another life.”

“Or you have one in your real life,” I said.

“Yes,” she said, and paused, as if she was remembering something from far away. “But I think it’s more than just one . . .” She squeezed her eyes shut. “A lot of cats. One of them was named Maisie.” But that was as far as she got.

My stomach growled. It was almost lunchtime. I figured Iris could think better if she had something to eat, and that was true of me, too. I asked Matt to stop at the Big Y. Iris stayed in the car while Matt and I ran inside to get sandwiches from the deli counter, snacks, and juices.

After Gram got sick, Eloise and I had come to the Big Y once a week to shop. We’d push the cart up and down the aisles, getting all the things we needed, the way parents did. As the oldest, I always remembered to get staples like paper towels and dryer sheets, dishwashing detergent and light bulbs, healthy meals, brain food like salmon for our grandmother—to slow the progression of her Alzheimer’s. Eloise was in charge of getting snacks, like cookies and fruit. We were a team: the Parrish sisters. The Girls With Too Much Responsibility.

But never did I picture myself at the Y with Matt Grinnell. I kind of wished some kids from school would see us—see me with him—and while we were waiting in line to get rung up, I spotted Gisele St. John at one of the other registers. She was tall and willowy, a year ahead of us, and I didn’t really know her. Of course she and everyone knew that I was the girl whose sister had been murdered, so she said an awkward hello to me. Then she waved at Matt.

“How’s it going, Matt?” she called.

“Good. How about you?”

She smiled. “Awesome. Looking forward to that boat ride you promised. When are we going?”

“We’re still getting the boats ready for summer,” Matt said. I found myself feeling ridiculously jealous. She was tall, she was beautiful, and she and Matt had made plans for a boat ride.

After I’d paid for our food with the cash from the freezer, Matt and I walked toward the exit.

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