Page 36 of Branches of Betrayal

Peyton noted that the leaves on the trees had shifted colors again, some falling down and crunching beneath the tires as they pulled up in front of the house. Don’s car was gone, so the house was empty and quiet, perfect for the conversation they were about to have.

“Should I make some coffee?” Peyton asked, her voice surprisingly steady for how uneasy she felt.

“Yes, please. I could do with the caffeine.”

Hadina went to the living room and slumped onto one of the sofas. She was slouched, her eyes closed and her head resting back, when Peyton walked in with a mug of coffee in each hand. Hadina attempted a smile in thanks as she accepted the mug, sighing as she took her first gulp. Peyton wanted to wince, knowing how hot it would be, but Hadina was a sucker for self punishment. Scolding her throat with coffee wasn’t much different.

Setting her own cup on the table, Peyton took a seat on the sofa beside Hadina. She was tempted to hold out her hand to clasp Hadina’s, but settled for folding them into her lap.

“So.” she started, “I think you have some stuff to tell me.”

Hadina sighed. “Talking about it feels wrong. Like I’m giving it power.”

“Baby, it—whatever it is—already has power over you. First, Adrian made a comment about your shaky hands. Now Zellie quips that you were coddling tequila bottles. I’ve noticed your nightly cold sweats that come with no fever; I should have said something sooner. If this is what I think it is, Ineedyou to tell me. And I think you need to voice it to me, so that we can tackle it together.”

Hadina’s dark eyes filled with tears and she looked away, avoiding Peyton’s gaze. She stared out the window, watching as birds built a nest in the branches.

“Losing you was the most difficult thing I’ve ever been through,” Hadina whispered. “And yeah, that seems fucked up to say because I lostMama.But after we lost her, I condemned myself to never dealing whole again. And then I met you, and you took over my heart. And then I lost you, too.”

Her voice cracked and Peyton’s heart tugged at the pain there.

“I was soangry. I had let you run off and I didn’t immediately chase you. All I could think about was that whatever was happening to you was all my fault. Meeting me ruined your life, and I didn’t know where you were to save you.”

Even though Hadina wasn’t looking at her, Peyton nodded. She wanted to speak, but Hadina had to take the lead in this conversation.

“Everything hurt and the anger in my veins was so blinding, Peyton. It was taking over me and the more we searched for you and came up empty, the hotter that anger became. I would have destroyed everything if it meant finding my way to you.”

Hadina sniffed, swiping a finger underneath her eyes to catch the first of her falling tears.

“I wanted to stop feeling. To be numb. I started drinking, and I guess I didn’t stop. The longer you were apart from me, the more I drank. I cooped myself up in the office with tequila bottles and I tried to drown my feelings. The more it burned my throat and made me feel sick, the more content I felt because it was a punishment I deserved.”

“Oh, Hadi,” Peyton whispered quietly, reaching her hand out to gently brush Hadina’s shoulder.

Hadina turned to look at her, mascara smearing as tears made a path down her cheeks.

“I was a mess. I wasn’t me anymore, and I didn’t care. Because it wasn’t worth living, or being me, if you weren’t by my side. It was easier to numb the pain at the bottom of a liquor bottle than it was to admit that I’d lost you and I couldn’t get you back.”

Peyton swallowed back her tears. Hadina was always strong for her, so now it was her turn to repay the favor.

“But you got me back, baby.”

Hadina shook her head. “But it wasn’t easy. I was crazy, Peyton. I was drinking so much that the anger stopped numbing me and just fuelled the fire instead. I yelled at Piper, at Adrian. I stopped eating. I barely spoke to anybody. The days started to blend together and I drank myself into oblivion, because the only time I got to see you was in my nightmares.”

She gulped down her coffee and Peyton noted the tremor in her hand, piecing everything together.

“So, what happened? Something had to have changed.”

Hadina smirked, though there was no trace of humor in it. “Zelina.”

“I’m sorry,what?Zellie helped you?”

“I told you, she surprised me too.” Hadina sighed. “I showed up drunk at her house. To be honest, I thought she’d leave me in the gutter. But she invited me in, listened to my anger and my accusations. Hell, she let me beat the shit out of her.”

“She let you hit her?”

Hadina nodded. “She knew I needed an escape. I had to let the anger out and drinking wasn’t doing that for me anymore. I exploded and she let me. And then…”

Peyton tilted her head, wondering why Hadina was so nervous to continue.

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