Page 41 of Sweet Little Spies

She sighed because it sounded so harsh. The day had beendreadful, and she knew in her logical mind she might feel differently in themorning. Or in a few weeks. She needed time. “I don’t know. Do I have to make adecision tonight?”

“No.” Aidan looked lost. “You don’t have to make a decisionat all, baby. I made a mistake. I honestly thought I was protecting you, but Iunderstand how that made you feel and it’s not okay. I’ll do whatever you needme to do to earn your trust back. But we’re going into something dangerous, andus being at odds isn’t going to help. The tension between us… I’m worried itcould get us killed. Get you killed.”

“I’m a pretty good actress,” she replied.

“You’re not.” Naturally Tris wanted to argue. “You’re aterrible liar, and Aidan’s right. He’s even worse than you are, which isprecisely why this is such a terrible idea.”

Aidan’s head shook. “I’m not arguing tonight. It’s gettinglate, and it’s been a fucking awful day. Carys, will you let me sleep withyou?”

The idea of going to bed alone made her ache. He was right.It had been terrible, and the best thing in the world would be to wrap herselfaround him and sleep. “No.”

She couldn’t do it. Not yet.

He nodded as though he’d expected her answer. “Then Tris,you can take first watch. Wake me in a couple of hours.”

Aidan strode out, and it took everything she had not to goafter him, to shove all this anger aside and hold him. If she did, she wouldcry all over again and still not get what she needed. She was a ball of stress,and not the kind she was used to. Carys could be perfectly cool under pressure.She could shut it all down and concentrate on her patient, but there was nopatient. There was only her and Aidan and Tristan. There was only the rest ofher lonely life if she couldn’t figure this out.

She was fairly sure she couldn’t figure this out unless shewent to Canada. Unless she finally faced whatever had taken Tristan from them.“You think I’m such a terrible actress I can’t pretend I still love him? Idon’t have to pretend. I do love him. The question is can I trust him?”

Tristan moved into her space, and she immediately felt herbody heat up. “No, the question is do the two of you work without me.”

She wasn’t about to back down. “We’ve worked for two and ahalf years without you.”

“Have you?” He loomed over her. Tristan had a good half afoot on her, and his body had gone from lanky boy to muscular man in the lastcouple of years.

She wished she didn’t want to get her hands on him, toexplore the changes in the body she’d loved so much. The afternoon had donenothing but stimulate an appetite she’d hoped she’d outgrown.

Shouldn’t Aidan be enough for her? Shouldn’t she be enoughfor him? Why couldn’t she be normal and make this work like other people did?Like her parents. And almost everyone she knew. Except Tris’s parents. And someof her friends’ parents.

She couldn’t let Tris see her weakness. “We’ve been fine.”

“I don’t think so, baby. The fact that you fell apart soquickly lets me know the truth. You are not an unforgiving woman, Car. When youthink about it, you’re going to understand. I tried to talk to you but yourefused.”

“You wanted me to be your secret,” she pointed out. “It’snot the same. You were sending me cards and gifts as a placeholder. You weren’ttrying to let me know what was going on. You didn’t keep me in the loop the wayyou did Aidan.”

“You want to know why?”

She didn’t need an explanation. “I’m sure you were trying toprotect the little woman.”

Tris groaned. “Little woman? I wasn’t afraid you would fallapart. I was terrified you would try to save me. I was scared you would ride inlike the Taggart woman you are. You talk about how you’re the sensible one andyou’re the reasonable one in your family. Your family has Kala and Kenzie init. Of fucking course you’re the reasonable one. Anyone is reasonable comparedto your wild-ass cousins. I don’t know if you’ve given this any thought, butyou’re not exactly a shrinking violet. What happened when we got called out asa threesome in high school?”

She and Tris had gone to the same high school while Aidanhad been at one across the city. It had been fairly easy for a while to keeptheir threesome status from their classmates. For several years, everyonethought Tris was her boyfriend and Aidan was a guy they saw occasionallybecause their parents were friendly. And then they’d been outed.

She hadn’t ever cared. “I told the ones who called me awhore to bite my ass. They were jealous I had two hot boyfriends and was livingthe dream.”

“And where did you say it, Car?”

“Fine. I said it over the loudspeakers because I wantedeveryone to hear it,” she admitted, remembering the day fondly. She’d gottenserious detention, and they wouldn’t let her do morning announcements everagain, but it had been worth it. None of this meant she should be left out of adeep and important part of his life. It had been far easier when she thoughtshe hadn’t been the only one left out.

“Yeah, I’m talking to that woman right now. I was scared youwould decide it was too dangerous for me and you would show up in the middle ofan arms deal,” he said with a shake of his head. “I talked to Aidan because Iknew he would stand down. I needed him, Carys. I needed someone to ground mebecause I couldn’t talk to my team.”

The whole reason she’d initially felt somewhat comfortablewith Tris going into Agency work had been his close proximity to her cousinsand Cooper McKay. “Why?”

“Because my team is made up of you on steroids. All Taggartwomen. If I talked to Coop, it’s like I’m talking to Kala, and Uncle Ian wouldhave smacked me upside the head and caused all kinds of trouble.” Tris pacedthe length of the small room and then back again, an anxious predator in atoo-tiny cage. “I went into this particular mission because I was the only onewho could do it.”

“The only one?” Tristan could be a bit on the arrogant sidewhen it came to some things. “No one else in all the world?”

He sent her a look that let her know he wished they were ina club. “I was the only one in place at the time with the skills to track downThe Jester. Once I had assumed his identity, I realized how truly dangerousthis mission was, and I knew I had to protect you.”

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