Page 96 of Sweet Little Spies

“Years, Carys. Fucking years I’ve loved you. Did you realizethis is our first real hurdle?”

“Of course it’s not,” she argued.

He was right about this. “Yes, it is because we’re stilldealing with Tristan making the decision to pursue his own career. I’m going toask you what if it had been the other way around. What if I had wanted to gointo the military with him? Would you have given up your dreams to follow us?”

Her chin came up. “Don’t be ridiculous. Of course I wouldn’thave given up college to follow you around the world. That’s not what we askedhim to do.”

“No, we asked him to stay when we could give him very littleattention. We asked him to take a job he didn’t want at the time, to notexplore who he is and what he wants,” Aidan said.

“I didn’t ask him not to go into the military. I knew it wassomething he needed. It was the Agency I had a problem with,” Carys replied.

“And yet not once did you fight with him. You acceptedeverything with a sigh like you kind of expected it to blow up all along. Youfight for everything, Carys. You don’t stand down. You literally kicked yourcousin in her pussy because she pissed you off, but when Tris told us to getmarried, we let him push us into it when we weren’t ready. There’s a time to bea sub and a time to tell our Dom he’s full of shit.”

“Oh, yeah, you should know Dad’s stealing that one. He’swriting a book of helpful advice calledIanspirations,” Kala said.

He was done with Kala. He pulled his cell and hit the numberfor Adam Miles. “Hey, Ian’s being an ass and listening in on an importantconversation and it would irritate the fuck out of him if you turned off theirsuperspy glasses.”

He knew how to get Tris’s dad to do what he wanted.

Kala sat up straight. “Hey, he can’t do that. Can he dothat?”

Carys looked over where Tristan stood, staring at the bothof them. He had a grave look on his face.

“I didn’t… I wasn’t being submissive,” Carys argued.

“Then you don’t feel the same way I do,” Tristan said.“Because I feel like I’ve been fighting for us for years.”

Carys’s brows rose. “Fighting? Was it fighting for us whenthe Agency hacked into my socials and took down any reference to you? Did yougive Aidan a heads-up at least?”

“I did not because I didn’t know they were doing it. Iexpected to have some time, though I can see why they did it,” Tris saidcalmly. “I thought I had another week or so, but they moved quickly after Itook over The Jester project. I can imagine how it felt. It had to feel likesomeone took important time from you. I do have a copy. If I can get out ofthis, I promise I’ll restore it all.”

She stared at him stubbornly. “Can you restore the last twoand a half years, Tristan?”

“What would he have done, Car? Did you want him here gettingyour coffee while you studied for a procedure?” Aidan knew he was poking a sorespot, but he was suddenly sure his father was right and if he lost this fight,he would lose the war. “He fucked up, but he didn’t mean to. Tris, did you gointo the military with the idea it was a way to get out of a relationship youdidn’t want?”

Tris huffed. “Of course I didn’t.”

“I think the relationship he wants is with you, Aidan,”Carys said, a hard look in her eyes.

“Oh, yeah. We’re getting to the good stuff,” Kala said andthen frowned and took the glasses off. “Damn. Adam’s excellent. Guess I shouldtake notes.”

Tristan looked his way and mouthed thanks. Then he turned toCarys. “I’ve tried so hard to maintain some kind of tie to you. I honestlybelieved if you thought I was in real danger you would ride in like a fuckingValkyrie to try to save me. I knew Aidan wouldn’t because Aidan wouldunderstand his job was protecting and sheltering you. I’ll be honest. If I hadto do it all over again, I would have talked to you because I now know I wasfooling myself.”

Carys’s index finger came out. “Don’t you fucking dare putthis on me. So it’s my fault because I didn’t what? Get on a plane and try toforce you to come home? Because I asked. I asked and asked, and then one day Istopped fucking asking because I knew the answer. Don’t rewrite history.”

“All right, I won’t. I was at fault,” Tris conceded. “Butplease, Carys, please yell at me. Punch me. Fight with me. Fight for us. Don’twalk away like I mean nothing. You might not understand why I did what I did,but do you truly believe I did it to hurt you?”

“I think you didn’t think about me at all,” Carys replied,her tone going hollow.

Tristan started to move toward her but stopped. “There isn’ta day in my life I didn’t think about you. Not a day I can remember anyway.Every day I’ve lived had you and Aidan in it.”

Carys’s arms crossed over her chest. “Were you or were younot willing to give us up? You said you would be honest with me.”

“In my darker moments, yes,” Tris admitted. “When Ifacilitated the sale of a hundred fully automatic assault rifles to aseparatist in a small African country and two weeks later the whole place brokeout in a bloody civil war, I thought I didn’t fucking deserve you. When Ilooked at the blood on my hands after I killed a man in São Paulo because he’dtaken a picture of me and meant to out me as The Jester, I thought there was noway I could ever touch you with those hands again. So yes, Carys, there were timesI thought it would be best for both of you if I died.”

What he was saying made sense to Aidan. “It’s why you stoodthere completely open to the helicopter on our wedding day. Everyone else hid,but you didn’t care.”

“I knew if I died making sure the two of you were safe, Iwould never have to admit how far I’d fallen.” Tris seemed to falter but kepton. “How much of my soul I’d given away. I know it sounds stupid, but I thoughtI could fix things. I thought I could be a hero like my dads.”

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