Page 123 of Hockey Wife

“I need to be careful how I propose it. They have expectations?—”

“So you keep lying about how you feel. What you want. What you need.”

She stepped out of the elevator and turned back to him.

“I’m not a liar.”

He scoffed. “Yeah, you are. You’ve been lying your entire life, telling your parents and anyone who asked that you’re fine. The healthy one. The reliable daughter. All their focus was on Dani, so you did your best to fade into the background and not give them any trouble.”

“Hardly! I made trouble.”

He waved a hand between them. “Later. When you realized Dani didn’t have long and you wanted to make her happy with pranks and scandal and acting out. Even then, you were doing it for your sister.”

“You don’t know a thing about it.”

Eyes welling, she started a march toward the car, then stopped and threw her hands up because she couldn’t remember where it was.

She turned as he reached her. “I married you, didn’t I? How is that ‘for my sister’?”

“Y’know, I think that’s the first thing you did without Dani being at the forefront of your mind. You wanted something for yourself.”

She was breathing heavily. “It was a?—”

“Mistake. Yeah, you’ve said.” He closed the gap, backing her up against the nearest car, his solidity the perfect salve. “Sometimes mistakes are a cry for attention. Sometimes they’re a way for us to learn. About ourselves.”

He cupped her cheek and ran his thumb over her lower lip.

“Every time you say you’re fine and you’re not, you might think it’s a harmless lie. You’re keeping a lid on all those feelings, containing it so you won’t be a bother. But it’s not harmless. It’s not good to keep it in. You don’t have to do that with me. Our marriage is a safe space. It’s all about communication.”

She sniffed. “That’s my line.”

“I’m co-opting it.”

“I don’t know where to start.”

He rubbed along her cheek. “Tell me what you want to tell them.”

“If we’re going to do any kind of role-playing, I’d rather it was sexy.”

“It can get sexy later. For now, I need you to stop being passive and start telling the truth.”

“Passive? Is that what you think?”

“Sure.” He shrugged in an infuriatingly casual manner that pissed her off. That was intended to. “You’ve let them railroad you forever because it’s easier. Don’t rock the boat, be the good girl, keep life on an even keel. But once Dani died, all that pressure, pain, and grief that built up needed an outlet. You went a bit wild, acted out all that hurt, not just because of Dani, but because of how you’ve been second to your parents forever. Now you’re falling back on those old patterns. People-pleaser, all’s fine, nothing to see here when really you should be thinking about how to be your own person. How to do that without Dani.”

Her next breath was labored, and she turned her head away.

“Georgia.” He lay his forehead to hers, which meant he had to bend to meet her at her level. Lately, this beautiful man had been doing that in all the ways. “I’ll support you no matter what. You want to head up this foundation in your sister’s name, then do that. You want to create something new, make your own way in this world, I’ll be right behind you. But be honest with yourself about what you want.”

A tear fell, and he brushed it away.

“I hate seeing you upset, but sometimes you need to go there to let it out. Start anew. Now tell me what’s in here.” He touched her forehead with his finger.

“I don’t want to head up Dani’s charity,” and then softer, “which makes me a terrible person.”

“No, it doesn’t. You want to have an identity of your own and there’s nothing wrong with that. You’ve been volunteering your time, but for some reason, you’d rather your parents thought you were lying around, eating bon bons.”

“If it’s not how they do things, then it’s not the right way.”

---