Page 83 of Ice Cold Hearts

After no fewer than four stories and one extremely thorough tucking in, Audrey has finally dropped off to sleep. I pop the baby monitor on one of the nightstands and flop back on the giant bed we all share while I’m here.

Emotionally, I’m exhausted. I love my daughter, but I’m looking forward to a time where bedtime isn’t such a long, drawn-out thing. Physically, it’s like my body is vibrating from the force of keeping all this anxious energy inside me. Saying I’d move in with them was basically the same level of commitment as asking them to propose to me. How could I have been so careless?

You haven’t even managed to tell them about Audrey and you’re over here saying you want to move in together some day? What is wrong with you?

My self-imposed deadline is getting closer by the minute, and I’m still being a coward about it. I’m so overwhelmed by the love I have for these men, but I can’t bring myself to admit it to them. If I tell them I love them and then cut off all ties with me once I tell them about Audrey, it would devastate me. If I wait until after I tell them about Audrey and they reject me, they’ll never know how much I care for them. It won’t make saying goodbye easier, but at least I’d get to save face and maybe believe it when I try to convince myself I didn’t really love them later on.

The bedroom door locks with a snick, and now three men are staring at me with such intensity I feel naked.

“So, Ian told me something interesting about what went on when the two of you were in the bathroom together,” Alexei says coldly.

Oh, shit. Ian told them that I was struggling about how to tell them about Audrey’s father, and now they’re going to force it out of me.

I start to sweat and fight the urge to pick my cuticles to shreds.

“Well, I—” I start.

“Save it,” he orders. “Nothing that comes out of that pretty mouth is going to save you now. You were already well overdue for a punishment, and now I hear you told Ian that you had me trained?”

“Isn’t it true?” I say defiantly.

Inside, though, I’m a puddle of relief. I’m not one hundred percent sure how I wanted to tell them, but this certainly isn’t it. Maybe I’ll enjoy this moment with them tonight and go back to myself for being so weak in the morning.

“Kitten, you have thirty seconds to strip then bend over this bed to take your punishment willingly,” he says.

A pleasant tingle runs down my spine.

“And if I don’t want to?” I ask.

“You either use your safe word or face the consequences of disobeying,” he says matter-of-factly. “Your time starts now.”

I slide off the bed and slowly peel off my shirt. My hands slide over my breasts, across my stomach to the waistband of my pajama bottoms.

“Ten seconds, Kitten,” he warns.

Hastily, I shed my pants and socks in a false show of obedience. I feel their eyes on me as I slowly slide one bra strap over my shoulder and then the other like I have all the time in the world.

“Time’s up.” Alexei smirks. “Oliver, Ian, put our pet in her place since she clearly can’t follow directions.”

My heart races as they start toward me. Part of me wants to run just to see what they’d do even though I know it’d be a fruitless attempt. The other part of me is desperate to submit and please them.

I let them take me to the edge of the bed closest to Alexei but resist the gentle push at the small of my back to get me onto the mattress. Warm fingers trace the outline of my shoulder blades while another pair of hands grips my hips, holding me steady.

As soon as I relax into the touch, I’m roughly shoved facedown on the bed.

“Fuck,” I gasp.

“Such a dirty mouth, Kitten.” Alexei sounds amused. “Now keep her there.”

The hands on my back and my hips disappear as Oliver and Ian appear on either side of me. They each wrap a hand around my wrist and pin my arms to the bed.

“Too tight?” Ian asks, squeezing my wrist gently.

“Tighter,” I plead.

“You heard her,” Alexei says.

I squeeze my legs together in response to the sudden ache I feel in my core at the tightening of their grip. I know it’ll leave bruises, but I don’t care. That’s what bracelets and long sleeves are for.

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