Page 33 of Over the Flames

White bandages had been wrapped around both of her legs and feet. Similar gauze prevented her from closing her hands completely, and she swallowed to counter the images of fire, fear, and blood filling the gaps in her memory. Her throat ached, her chest heavy. Why was it so hard to breathe? She tried to sit up, but only managed to tug at the large bore catheter and IV in her arm. Fluids.

“Arden. I’m here, baby. You’re safe.” Her name whispered in that familiar, deep voice washed comfort and longing through her. Blood rushed to her face as Lawson centered himself in her vision. His handsome features reflected nothing but concern and regret as he carefully set his hand in hers. A dark-blue sling stood stark against his white T-shirt, the outline of a bandage visible through the cotton. He’d been injured. Trying to get her out of the warehouse? “Rose Hindley won’t be able to hurt you again. It’s over. She’s in federal custody. We recovered Baldwin’s phone in her house, and the messages she deleted were still cached in the phone’s memory. She used detailed knowledge of Jacqueline Day’s murder to persuade him to meet her using a number from a burner phone we also found in her home, details only the killer would’ve had. Then she used Baldwin’s phone to message you. She’d wiped the NNA award she used to bludgeon Phil Anderson with clean of fingerprints, but DNA evidence from the struggle puts her at the scene. We’ve got her, Arden. We’re charging her with three counts of murder and two counts of attempted murder. She’ll spend the rest of her life behind bars. You’re safe.”

Safe? Their last conversation played on repeat at the back of her mind. Lawson might’ve physically pulled her from the fire, but there were parts of her—parts she’d trusted him to protect—he’d let burn to ash. He’d accused her of breaking their deal in order to further her career despite her assistance during the case, and he’d broken his word in the process. He’d promised they would face the truth together, that he’d never leave her, but it’d all been a ploy, a construct to gain her trust. He’d used their daughter’s death and her attempt to rise above the gut-wrenching grief in an effort to get close to her. And it’d worked. Damn it, it’d worked, and a flood of shame added to the hollowness intensifying behind her sternum. She’d believed him, and he’d used her and her familiarity with the victims as nothing more than a tool to solve his case.

Arden pulled her hand from his, too weak to do anything else. She directed her attention to the seemingly endless wraps of bandages around her legs and not on his fallen expression as he set his hand on the edge of the bed.

“How…bad?” Two simple words had never felt more difficult to project. The fire, the smoke inhalation.

“You sustained second-degree burns on your legs and feet with first degree burns on your hands.” He stared down at her hand, his voice more detached than a minute ago, and the resulting ping in her chest knocked precious oxygen from her lungs. He cleared his throat as though carefully considering how much to tell her, but she’d find out the information directly from her doctor sooner or later. “They’re saying about ten percent of your body right now. First responders were able to stabilize you in the ambulance pretty quickly, but it’ll be a few weeks before you recover fully. The taser burns in your side will take a while longer. Rose Hindley modified a standard taser to emit a nearly fatal voltage. If you hadn’t struggled when she abducted you, we never would’ve known you’d been taken. I would’ve been too late.”

The remorse in his expression entered his voice, and her heart hurt from the pure sincerity and care in those storm-gray eyes.

“Arden, I was wrong.” Lawson reached behind him with his uninjured hand and brought a chair closer before taking his seat. Takeout containers, a toiletry bag, and the black duffle she recognized as his overnight bag claimed her attention. He’d stayed with her. Even after needing medical attention for a few injuries of his own. “After I realized what those notes and interviews on your laptop were, I snapped. As soon as I saw them, I was back at that house, walking the crime scene where a father had killed his little girl and the reporter who’d tracked him down because I’d trusted the wrong person. I was scared. Scared that you were using me to get access to the case, scared you were using my grief for our daughter against me, and scared of losing you all over again. After Rey died and you’d filed for divorce, I hit rock bottom. Day-to-day things got a hell of a lot harder. I couldn’t focus on my cases, food had no taste. I pushed everyone away, including the people I worked with. I couldn’t sleep because every time I closed my eyes, I saw Rey asleep in your arms on that beach in California. I saw her smile. I heard her laugh, and the best thing I could do was move to the other side of the country, but it wasn’t enough.” His voice cracked with emotion. “I promised myself when I got back on my feet, I’d never sink that low again. So I latched onto a lie in order to keep myself from having to lose you a second time, and I didn’t give you a chance to stop it.”

And she’d gone along with it.

“Sheriff Sanders told me you contacted my office for permission to publish the article under the pen name Phil, Jacqueline, and Baldwin created so the payments would go to their families.” Lawson nodded, and she wanted nothing more to reach out, to wrap her hand back in his, but the pain he’d caused still kept her in check. “I broke my promise to always be there for you, even after you told me how much you’d needed me after Rey’s death, and I understand I’m probably the last person you want sitting next to you while you recover. But when I realized you were locked inside that warehouse, and the flames were getting closer, I knew then what I’ve been denying since the moment I saw you at Baldwin’s death scene. I love you. I’m not sure I ever stopped loving you, and I’ll spend every day for the rest of my life proving it to you if that’s what you need from me.”

The walls she’d tried to rebuild after Lawson had left her apartment crumbled at his admission, and the tightness in her chest released. He loved her, wanted her, even after everything they’d been through these past two years.

“You don’t owe me anything, Arden. If you decide what I did is more than you’re willing to live with, I’ll understand. We had a second chance, and I didn’t take it. I knew the risk of staying here until you woke up, but it was worth it. Every moment we had together was worth it. I need you to know that.” He straightened. The muscles along his throat flexed as he set his hand over hers on the bed. The soft sounds of a woman’s voice over the hospital PA system filtered through the ringing in her ears. “I’ll have Sheriff Sanders and a few of her deputies come sit with you until you’re released in a couple of weeks. I won’t subject you to having to see me, but whatever you need, if you need me, I’ll be here.”

After collecting his bag and toiletries from the table beside the bed, he headed toward the door. The muscles along his back flexed under the thin fabric of his T-shirt. Her insides clenched with the memory of his weight anchoring her for those few short hours in her apartment as the past had threatened to tear her down at every turn. Baldwin had directed her down a new path after she’d buried her daughter, but Lawson had turned her desperation to be valued by others into an internal drive to accept herself. Afraid of disappearing into a cavern of emptiness and worthlessness, Arden had used her work as a shield to protect herself from caring about someone as deeply as she’d cared about Rey. Until now. Because she’d meant what she’d said while the threat of burning alive had crept closer. She loved him, too. Lawson had shown her emotions weren’t to be put in a box, never unpacked, or a hindrance to her investigative abilities, but a tool she could use to uncover the truth. He’d done that for her.

“Lawson.” His name barely registered through the mask, the plastic fogging in response. She summoned the last remnants of strength into sitting higher up the mountain of pillows behind her. The bed protested under her strained movements. She couldn’t let him leave. Not without him knowing that her fight to escape the fire had been in an effort to make things right between them. They’d resented each other for so long, had believed the worst in each other, it’d been the only thing to get them through these past two years. But now that they’d confronted their grief—together—there was only one explanation of why they were still here, still connected. Love. “You…promised…coffee.”

Veins threatened to escape along his forearms as he hesitated in the doorway. He faced her, a rising warmth thawing the sorrow in his eyes. Releasing the handle, Lawson let the heavy door close and unshouldered his bag onto the floor. He stalked toward her, a massive predator closing in on his prey, and the dull pain in her legs drained. Leveraging his uninjured hand near her head on the opposite side of the bed, he studied her from forehead to chin. Hints of his addictive scent worked past the oxygen through to her senses. “I did, didn’t I?”

Tipping her chin higher, she leveled her gaze with his and reached to pull the oxygen mask down around her neck. He set his hand over hers, and the hollowness in her chest ebbed. Her lungs instantly seized on the hit of his earthy scent as she ignored his silent protest to keep the mask in place. They’d survived physical hell, caught a killer, and faced the drowning pull of grief together—all for this moment. She wasn’t going to let anything else come between them. “I love…you.”

“I love you, too.” His laugh brushed against the underside of her neck and pushed feeling all the way down to her toes. Threading his uninjured hand through her hair, he set his forehead against hers. His gut-wrenching smile hiked her pulse higher right before he covered her mouth with his.

Warm. Soft. The heat intensified as he broke past the seam of her lips and swept his tongue inside. Pain battled for dominance, but Arden refused to turn away from it this time. Because feeling the pain far outweighed feeling nothing. She melted under him as the monitor on her right screamed warning, and Lawson pulled back.

“They’re going to throw me out of here if we’re not careful,” he said.

“Let them…try.” Arden closed her eyes, tears escaping down her face. The hurt, the loss, the abandonment—none of it had a hold on her right then. There was only Lawson. She set her head back against the pillows, burdened by her physical injuries, but lighter than she’d felt in years. She traced her hand down his chest and settled above his heart. The steady rhythm reverberated through her palm and calmed the wild beat of her pulse. “You’re…mine, and I…don’t share.”

“Neither do I.” Trailing his fingers along the tendon between her neck and shoulder, he sat back onto the edge of the bed.

“I…should’ve…told you.” The strain in her voice deepened. “I was…afraid.”

Afraid she’d lose him all over again.

“I know, and I understand why you went over my head to get permission. But the truth is, you’re nothing like that reporter, Arden. What she did was for the benefit of her own career. She didn’t care about the little girl she was putting in danger, nor was she interested in getting the father’s side of the story to the public. She only cared about herself, about her career, and it was wrong for me to assume all journalists were the same. As much as I hate what happened, I know now you’d never put me or anyone else at risk for a story.” He brushed her hair back away from her face, the ends brittle and frayed from the fire. “You’re the most caring, creative, and ambitious woman I’ve ever known, and I don’t want you to think that I don’t trust you. If it weren’t for you, for your example, I’d still be alienating the people I work with and eating an unhealthy amount of jalapeños so I could taste my food again.”

His laugh rocked through the bed before his smile fell. “You solved this case, Arden. You uncovered the truth and found Baldwin’s killer. I think he’d be proud of you.” He slid off the edge of the bed and took his seat in the chair. Unpocketing her phone, he turned the screen toward her. “I know your editor is. I’ve been screening her calls since your doctor sedated you. The paper wants to promote you to one of their full-time investigative journalists, and honestly, I can’t wait to see what you come up with next.”

She rolled her lips between her teeth and bit down to fight the surge of tears vying for release. Arden pressed the base of her free hand into her eye to suffocate the rush of emotion. A full-time investigator. She’d done it. She’d risen from the ashes of her old life and clawed her way toward something new. Something she’d never imagined possible. With Lawson. The image of her daughter’s smile filtered through the pain and the physical weight lifting from her chest in full-blown color. “I…wish she…was…here.”

Understanding lit his features.

“So do I. You made her proud, too, Arden.” He stood then leaned down to press a kiss to her forehead. Helping her slide farther down the bed to get comfortable, Lawson slipped his hand into hers. “Get some rest. I’ll be here to watch over you. We’ve got time, baby. We’ve got forever. You and me. Forever.”

Arden closed her eyes, at peace for the first time in years. Because of him. Her husband. Her partner. Her everything. “Forever.”

Epilogue

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