Page 77 of The Shadow of Polaris

Until it wasn’t.

Ultraviolet hues of color pulsed through me, blinding the world in my light.

The vicious roar bouncing from wave to wave went silent. The water stilled.

Everything stopped and for a second, I thought maybe I’d obliterated it all, leaving only the borealis behind. When the light faded, however, the world came back into view. Men gawked from the remaining warships, their eyes filled with wonder, and maybe terror. Waves lapped softly against the surface, pushing limp black eels away from our fleet. The giant worm bellied up and rolled away with the currents. Its body wrinkled and stretched as it returned to the sea.

All was quiet as I returned to the deck. Arcturas, who had burst through from below, howled and sprinted to my side. Every fiber of my being was relaxed, at peace. The weight of the world had lifted from my back. The demon returned to her cage, but this time, I didn’t lock her shackles. Somehow, this war between us ended. We’d come to an agreement.

Terrified whispers raced through the crew as they distanced themselves from me. All of my soldiers trembled in my presence. All except one. Aryx pushed through the crowd.

“My Queen.,” he murmured, kneeling before me. I sucked in a breath. He’d never taken a knee before me. Here and now, this legendary half-god acknowledged my power over his so publicly. So vulnerably.

I curled my fingers around his cheek and pulled him to his feet. All the rage that had once pulsed through me flatlined. We came close to death today, too close. Our lives, maybe fated to intertwine or maybe not, were constantly at risk. We didn’t have the privilege of fighting or hating or withholding forgiveness. In this moment, nothing he could say, no matter how cruel, no matter how spiteful, would break the current that linked us together.

Later, when I’d washed the grime of battle from my skin, Aryx and I sat in my quarters, having finished a quiet meal together.

“I thought I’d lost you for a minute there,” Aryx said, combing his fingers through my matted hair. Candles scattered around the space emitted a dry, flickering warmth. The steady rise and fall of the ocean above rocked the ship gently, like a mother soothing her infant child.

“This isn’t the first time we’ve said that. Nor will it be the last. I can’t help but think about our men. How much more of this can we put them through?”

“Elpis,” Aryx stopped, tipping my chin to face him, “They knew what they were risking when they signed on. You can’t blame yourself.”

I swallowed, lowering my eyes to my hands. “But it is my fault. I made that bargain with Procyon, I brought them to sea, I-.”

“Stop,” he said, kneeling so our eyes were level. “If you asked any of those men out there,” he pointed toward the cabin door, “they’d say it’s their honor to fight for you. To fight for us. You saved us against Charybdis. Against Scylla. Gods, we wouldn’t have made it out of the fucking harbor without you. Yes, it would be different if you were hiding away in a throne room watching men die, but you’re not. You’re with us. Fighting alongside us. Risking your life just as much as they are.”

His gaze burned so brightly into me, I thought I might combust.

“Look, you’re always going to carry the weight of their deaths. But you’re not alone. I’m here. Let me take some of it. Let me help you.” His voice was a soft caress against my skin.

Closing my eyes, I felt the warmth of his chest against my cheek as he pulled me in. It was safe here, easy. Just as before, fighting beside my demon rather than against her, I felt weightless. I felt free.

Aryx knelt before me, placing his hands on my knees, and stared up at me.

“I know you don’t want to hear it…” he said, tucking a loose strand of hair behind my ear.

“And I know you’re not ready to say it back…” His thumb stroked my cheek, my bottom lip, my collarbone.

“Don’t,” I whispered.

My skin melted under his touch. He was intoxicating. The sound of his voice was the only melody I’d ever need to hear. His heated gaze, the only warmth I’d ever need to feel.

“Elpis.” He leaned into me, our mouths only a hair width apart. The anticipation of his lips pressing against mine ignited every inch of my skin, raising the hairs on the nape of my neck. The space between us felt too great, the air felt too thick.

“When I’m around you, the world fades away. When you touch me, something sets fire. For the first time in my life, I feel worthy. I feel deserving,” he said, brushing his forehead against mine. Time hung frozen around us.

“Aryx, I-” His lips cut off my words, forcing them back into my mouth. My thoughts vanished nearly instantly as his scent tickled my nose. I craved it, yearned for it to wrap around me. I pressed into him, tangling my fingers through his hair. The weeks of silence, the heartbroken glares, all of it washed away with each kiss. In this moment, we were infinite.

We were gods.

“I love you, Elpis. I will never stop loving you,” he whispered through panting breaths. “You have every piece of me. You’ve stolen every thought. Every dream. Every waking moment.” I felt his fingers trace down my thighs and squeeze my skin.

“You are everything. Always.”

I couldn’t breathe. He’d taken the air away, but I yearned to stay here in this suffocating electricity. The taste of freedom trickled down my throat and suddenly I realized he was my escape. He wrapped my legs around his waist and lifted me from my seat, our lips never leaving one another for long enough to grow cold.

Chapter 42

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