Page 64 of The Shadow of Polaris

I straightened against him. Until this moment, every minute brought a new mountain to climb- both literally and figuratively. I hadn’t thought about the future. The after. There was only now. Something snapped in my throat.

I couldn’t do this. I couldn’t let myself envision a future with the man who embraced me. As deeply as I cared for him, and as profound an impact he had on my life, my freedom was mine alone. I’d grown to depend on Aryx. That realization terrified me more than anything else I’d faced. I turned to him, swallowing hard. A speckle of lightness bounced from his eyes, content wrinkling at each corner of his mouth. What I had to do was going to hurt.

“Our agreement hasn’t changed, Aryx. I’m fighting beside you, but for a different end goal,” I said, my voice shaking.

“What?” he said, taking a step back.

“Don’t misunderstand. I care about you, maybe a little too much, but I care about my freedom more. My future is mine alone. I’m sorry.” I stopped breathing as darkness flooded across his eyes.

“Aryx please. You have to understand,” I pleaded, reaching for his hand. He ripped it away from my grasp.

“Trust me, I understand entirely.” He turned away. “The bow’s over there with a full quiver in case you miss the first shot.”

“Where are you going?” I asked, reaching out again for his wrist.

His heartbeat pounded through his veins as he flicked my hand away and started for the stairs.

“A walk,” he said in a voice clipped and sinister. He disappeared into the palace.

Sighing, I picked up the bow.

Maybe this had been a mistake. I’d blinded myself with these feelings I didn’t quite comprehend.

I knocked an arrow.

Toying with his emotions, had I created a narrative that our lives would intertwine when everything was all over? What did that make me?

I pulled the string.

The lies I’d told him, the lies I told myself, they were just that. Lies.

The arrow whizzed through the air as I released it, stopping short and plummeting to the waves below.

At the end of this all, only one thing mattered: my freedom. My choice to live quietly somewhere far away where no one could find me, where no ghosts of my past lurked in the shadows. Where I could just be.

I knocked another arrow.

My feelings toward the half-god were strong, yes, but were they powerful enough to drown out the life I’d be forced into? The prophecy connected us together. The chains of fate bound me to him. If I stayed, if I built a life with him, it wouldn’t be my own. It’d be decided for me. Just as everything else had been in this world.

I let the next arrow fly. Like the first, it arced into the ocean.

Did this make me just as much of a manipulator as he had been? I sighed, lowering the bow. Only one arrow remained. Knocking it, I sucked in a breath, clearing my head. My eyes closed, letting the caress of the sea enwrap me in its hypnotic tendrils. Breathe, Elpis. Think of your life, you and your wolf. Somewhere deep in the forest, somewhere like the clearing. The ocean sounds faded into a staccato of woodland birds. The warmth of the sun transformed into a blazing campfire with meats, fresh from a hunt, roasting on skewers.

That was what I fought for. I had allowed myself a distraction. I lost sight of the future I yearned for. It wouldn’t happen again. Even if it meant breaking the heart of the strongest warrior I’d ever known, then so be it. Under no circumstance would I concede to a future controlled by someone else.

When I finally felt ready, I opened my eyes and released.

The arrow spurted through the sky, flying true until vanishing into the westward horizon entirely.

Chapter 34

“My Queen,” a voice behind me boomed, “it seems you’re as skilled at breaking hearts as you are shooting that bow.” Procyon placed his large hand on my shoulder and chuckled. His electricity radiated against me, drawing beads of sweat from my brow.

“I need to change our bargain,” I said, shoving away from him.

“You’ve shot the arrow. Our agreement cannot be altered, sweet cheeks.” His tanned brow creased as he smirked at me.

Altair was right; this God was a snake.

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