Page 55 of The Shadow of Polaris

“You know, maybe we should ask Procyon to come back. I like how quiet you get when your masculinity feels threatened.” I slapped his hand away and climbed into the saddle.

Chapter 29

The road to Aquilae was long. As we continued south, the air turned gritty with sea salt and ocean waves. Gulls squawked in the afternoon light, following the sun to its zenith.

“What happened with Zecharius this morning?” Aryx asked, glancing over his shoulder to face me. His shoulder blades stretched beneath the back of his sweat glazed, white tunic.

“I’m not sure.” My mouth went dry, and I sucked in a shallow breath. “All I could see were my hands around his throat. I wanted to kill him. If you hadn’t of intervened, I would’ve done it, too.”

Aryx was quiet. The only sound between us was the clop of Kratos’s hooves against the stone laid path. Rolling hills of the Western Realm morphed into steep, jagged cliffs. Dry sprits of grass and coastline flora scattered across the rocky landscape.

“Are you afraid?” he asked. Kratos jerked us forward as he leapt over a stone protruding from the sun-cracked trail.

“Of myself? Yes.” I wrapped my arms around him as Kratos trotted forward. The curves of his body beneath my touch sent electric jolts through me. I was desperate for a distraction from the dread bubbling up in my throat.

“Well, I’m not,” he said, flicking Kratos’ reins.

He should be.

Everyone should be.

That demon I kept locked away was an unstoppable force. If I freed it again, would I be able to keep hold of its leash?

“As half-gods, our power is a weight we’ll live with forever. Tipping us closer and closer to the edge. When I was a boy, I nearly lost myself to it.” His throat bobbed. “Eventually you learn to settle yourself and control it.”

“And what if I can’t?” I steadied my gaze on the horizon. The blue coastline of the Southern Sea blurred with the hillside like rough brush strokes on canvas.

“You must. Otherwise, the world will burn. It’s the price we pay for our immortal blood. Our mortal minds feel too deeply to keep it locked away,” he said, placing a free hand over the back of mine.

I gripped the cotton of his tunic. My blood burned hot. The scratch of power coursing through my veins was an uncomfortable reminder of the lives I’d already taken.

“I was still a boy when my mother killed all of her court. Barely trained and barely old enough to even understand the permanence of death. Whispers of magic kept telling me to kill her. To take revenge for the lives she’d stolen. When I stood above her one night while she slept, I nearly did it.”

“And why didn’t you? If our power is so all-consuming, how did you stop?” I asked.

“My father once said that love is the strongest fuel for violence. I still loved her. Every day, I regret not plunging that knife into her throat.” I could feel the steady throb of his heart against my cheek as I leaned my head on him.

“You were a child with too heavy a weight to bear. It’s not your fault,” I said. He laced his fingers through mine, pulling our intertwined hands over his chest.

“So were you. I guess that makes us the same.”

My heart, matching the rhythm of his, slowed as I let out the air I’d been holding in my lungs.

“I guess so.”

I realized suddenly that this warrior, this half-god, this man who I’d grown to fear, then hate, then befriend, was just as lonely, just as broken as I was. He’d called himself a monster once.

I knew then that he truly believed it. It hadn’t been a ploy or manipulation. We fought the same battles, the same heartache, the same guilt.

He had betrayed me, and that pain might never heal completely, but his candid words were a stitch in the wound.

The rest of the ride was quiet, save for the click of hooves against stone.

#

The Southern Realm was known for its glorious gilded gate. Colossal pearl statues of their patron god gleamed in the sunlight. Kratos trotted through the city walls, carved from looming cliffs standing hundreds of feet high. Electricity pulsed within the salted air while the sharp, oceanic breeze pricked at my nose.

“Something’s wrong,” Aryx whispered, slowing Kratos to a halt. His eyes narrowed, scanning the street before us.

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