Page 10 of The Shadow of Polaris

Trailing into the kitchen, I ladled a serving of thick brown stew into a chipped ceramic bowl and pulled a tarnished spoon from the drawer beneath the spice rack. Searching the pantry, I found the jar of chicken livers, scooped a few on to a cracked tea plate, and returned to my seat by the hearth.

Arcturas stirred from her peaceful sleep at the smell of the raw livers. Setting down the plate for her, I slurped up a spoonful of stew. The wolf pup devoured her meal instantaneously and returned to her peaceful slumber. I sat and savored mine, keeping my eye on the window. Each spoonful tasted better than the last. It had a rich flavor with hints of cardamom and clove. The velvety tenderness of cooked carrots and potatoes offset the tough texture of the mutton. Cherishing the warmth now settling into my stomach, I sat back and rubbed my eyes, a heavy sleepiness washing over me.

Licking the last remnants of the stew from my spoon, I set my bowl in the kitchen and began up the stairs, Arcturas nipping at my heels behind me. The second floor of the tavern was a long, drafty hallway lined with doors. Oil lamp sconces projected shadows in the crevices of the alcove. An open doorway a few doors down to my left marked the guest bedroom.

I crept to the bathing chamber at the end of the hall, and softly clicked the door shut. Frya had laid out a pair of faded brown trousers and a white tunic, worn with tears. Peeling the remnants of the grey shift from my aching body, I gazed in the mirror, taking inventory of the gashes and scrapes I’d accumulated throughout my journey. Large swells of bruising protruded from my abdomen. Wincing, I touched each tender spot. My body had taken more of a beating than I’d realized. No wonder the old barkeep took pity on me. Turning on the faucet of the stained tub, steam revolved around the hot stream until it clouded the entire room.

I stepped into the scorching water, embracing the sharpness of the heat against the bottoms of my feet. How long had it been since I’d soaked in a truly hot bath? Sinking up to my neck, I tipped my head back, half expecting to see the stone tiles of the tower’s bathing chamber. Instead, beige ceramic tile lined the ceiling. I laughed and counted each one. There were more tonight than there were before.

A sudden rush of emotions escaped from that locked away piece of me, and I broke into hysterics. I had lost so much of myself during my imprisonment. I had become a stranger to my body. Now that I was free, I wanted to remember her. I hoped that one day the empty carcass of flesh I’d become would swell back to life with the woman I used to be. I prayed that one day it wouldn’t be painful to think of her.

She was a woman who truly saw the beauty of the world in kaleidoscope shades of countless colors and hues. A woman who felt deeply and thoroughly with her entire soul and who fought, tirelessly and unyieldingly for those that she loved. Including herself. I wanted to know her, to feel her coursing through my veins once more.

Hushing my sobs beneath my now raisin fingers, I took a deep breath and tried to regain composure. Quiet freedom like this leant room to outbursts of feelings I’d worked so hard to suppress. I pulled the black comb from my hair, letting it untwist from its low knot, and began working through the snarls with my fingers. Focusing on one task after another kept my mind locked down and under control. I scrubbed my nail beds until not a speck of dried blood or dirt remained. I polished the grimy stains off of my skin.

When I was thoroughly clean, I dressed in the scratchy old clothing and tiptoed off to bed, floorboards creaking beneath each step. Greeted by Arcturas, who had slid beneath the yellow quilted covers of the small twin bed, I locked the door behind me. The room had a single window that overlooked the snowy, dark street below. Checking once more for guards, I peered out through its frozen pane. The only motion was that of the heavy, blanketed snow fall.

On the nightstand, a single candle flame quivered in the drafty night air. I laid my cloak and boots next to bed and slid the knife and my key beneath the flat, feather pillow. Climbing in, springs squealing beneath my weight, I let my exhausted limbs, now swollen from the heat of the bath, sink into the cotton mattress. A warm little body curled against me beneath the covers. The rise and fall of her delicate chest quieted my thoughts until our breath was in sync. The two of us drifted into a peaceful sleep. We were far from being safe, but I was far away from the tower. I had made it. Just as that key had unlocked my freedom, it had unlocked something within me. Truly, this was a breath of fresh air.

Chapter 9

Sun gleamed through the guest room window as I awoke with crusty lashes and aching muscles. I had slept so deeply it was as if I’d awoken from the dead. Rubbing my eyes and stretching limbs now speckled with dark purple bruises, I threw off the covers and started towards the window. The cobblestone of the street was now covered entirely with snow and a deep, frozen breeze whistled through the draft between the panes. Arcturas curled her spine and yawned widely.

“Good morning, little one. Looks like you slept as well as I did.” She sniffed towards me, shaking her thick pelt. All was quiet in the house, save for the popping of grease in a skillet downstairs. Combing tendrils of hair into a bun atop my head, I stepped into the hallway with the looming aroma of pork belly and sausages. Arcturas zoomed down the flight of stairs, nearly losing her step and crashing to the bottom. A faint chuckle and the clank of a metal spatula echoed to the second floor.

“Ah, you’re awake,” Frya said, smudging grease on her apron as I entered the tavern’s main room. Each set of chairs was flipped onto their tables and the floor was swept. It was only an hour or two after sunrise. I wondered what time Frya had started her day. She flipped the slices of pork belly with a sizzle and began cracking eggs into a wooden bowl.

“I hope you’re hungry. I went a little overboard with the cooking this morning. Your little companion is gonna love the extra servings I made for her.” She smiled brightly, no trace of the cold, witchy woman from the night before. Arcturas stretched her neck, standing on hind legs against the kitchen counter. Her nose sniffed frantically at the cooking meat.

“You best get down and out of my kitchen, little wolf, or you’ll be getting nothing this morning!” Frya swatted her spatula at Arcturas’s tail, swinging droplets of oil across the room. With a yip, the pup scampered out, stopping to lick the bits of grease that had landed in her path.

“You seem…different this morning. Now that you know who I am,” I pressed, my voice trailing off as Frya glanced up from her stove.

Her lips curved into a thin line and she returned to the eggs now bubbling in her iron skillet. I shuffled to the hearth, my eyes never leaving the ancient woman. Rubbing my hands in the radiating warmth, I watched as she transferred the eggs to a cracked serving bowl and placed them on the bar.

“I ain’t gonna get the city guard if that’s what you’re suggesting,” she snapped, sliding a plate down the bar towards me. I reached for a fork and poked at the steaming eggs.

“I also ain’t gonna poison you, so you best eat up before those get cold.” With creaking knees, the barkeep bent to place a small plate of pork belly and chicken livers on the floor. Arcturas trotted over to her, grabbed a slice of meat, and began flinging it from side to side. She leaped joyously as she toyed with her prey.

“Hey! This ain’t the wild, you beast! Don’t be dirtying up my nice clean floors!” Frya jutted her bony finger at the pup. Arcturas skidded to a halt and guiltily swallowed the slice whole. Burying her face in her plate, she began slopping up her breakfast.

“I guess I’m just a little suspicious. Why are you being so kind to me? I’m an escaped alleged murderer.” The barstool creaked beneath my weight as I leaned in to pop a forkful of food into my mouth.

Scowling, Frya smoothed back her thinning, grey hair.

“If you don’t want my hospitality, you know where the door is. And guilty or not, the late Queen’s death was the best thing to happen to this city in a long time.” She plopped a spoonful of rubbery egg on to her own plate and took a seat across from me.

“Aren’t you afraid of my murderous tendencies sending me straight to your bed while you sleep?” I stabbed an egg with my fork.

“No, I’m not afraid of your violent streak, Lady Elpis. Not all city folk trust the Elders’ judgements. I certainly don’t.”

My cheeks reddened as I bit into a crunchy slice of pork belly, the fat melting on my tongue. We finished our breakfasts in silence, avoiding the barkeep’s penetrating gaze as she crunched on the remaining sausages straight from the skillet. Arcturas scampered to the tavern’s entrance, her ears back in a defensive stance, and growled deeply towards the door. Alarm stitched through me.

“Quick, down to the wine cellar. You two stay quiet until I give the okay. The city guard’s doing their rounds collecting up all the drunks and thieves this morning. That’s probably them now, wanting the late-night crowd who overstay their welcome.” Frya led us hastily into the kitchen and whipped the reed utility mat aside to reveal a small trap shoot in the floor. Pulling together on the ring handle, we lifted the square door, disturbing a thick layer of spider webs as it swung open. Ushering Arcturas down the stone cellar stairs, I trailed behind her.

“Not a peep,” Frya said, shutting the door behind me. Dust fell from the creases in the wooden flooring as she pulled the utility mat back into place.

The cellar itself was pitch dark. Heart pounding, I didn’t dare move as I silently inhaled the stale air. Arcturas sniffed at the corners of the room, her nails scraping against the rough stone. Scooping her into my arms, I stroked her little head to keep her from whining. Above us, two muffled male voices conversed with Frya’s familiar croak. I held my breath, praying to the Gods that Arcturas would remain silent in my arms as footsteps entered the kitchen above.

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