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I can feel him standing there, watching me as I walk toward the helicopter to take off.

The feeling of his gaze on me stays the entire time that I converse with my clients, and we all make our way into the massive machine, mine more of a struggle than the others.

It’s not until I feel the jolt of us taking off that I finally look back to where Marshall stands at the edge of the helicopter pad, looking devastated.

He may be right, and maybe he loves me.

But he doesn’t own me.

Chapter 28

Elsie

September 8 — 36 Weeks 1 Day, Winter Melon

Every morning for the past four weeks, I wake up and walk into an empty kitchen.

I’d never admit it out loud, but Marshall’s absence is messing with my head more than I would have expected.

You’d never know that two people are occupying the same space with the way he manages to both fill every corner of the apartment and yet still avoid me at every turn.

Our home is suddenly full of very helpful ghosts.

Ghosts who leave out breakfast for me every morning with my juice and supplements and who pack my lunch and put it next to my key, so I don’t forget it on my way to work. They keep the house tidy and organized, do the grocery shopping, make all of my meals, and attend to my every need.

But the whole time, the apartment remains eerily quiet and empty.

And lonely.

Every day for the past four weeks, it has been like this, and each little act of thoughtful kindness has my chest aching with a longing that feels foreign to me.

I’m not used to needing people.

It’s always felt wrong to need people.

But now, there’s a craving for one particular human that I can’t ignore.

The smell of breakfast hangs in the air, making me drool. Spotting a plate on the kitchen table full of mollettes, which reminds me of that first day when I told Marshall I was pregnant, I waddle over to sit down and begin my day.

As always, the newspaper is laid out next to my breakfast,juice, and supplements, but before I’m able to dig into my breakfast, the chime of my phone interrupts me.

Selene: I’m kidnapping you for brunch.

Elsie: What? Isn’t brunch later this month?

It’s a tradition within our friend group to gather for brunch once a month, but typically, we get together on the last Sunday of the month. Today is the first Sunday.

Selene: We’re adding another brunch then. It’s your birthday this week, and we’re celebrating today. Don’t fight me on this.

Elsie: Okay?

Selene: Just get dressed in something cute. I’ll be there in an hour to pick you up.

Knowing Selene, an hour could either mean 30 minutes or three hours. So, leaning on the side of caution, I quickly get up from the table and put my things away so that I can begin getting ready.

Waddling from the kitchen to my bedroom takes more effort than it used to, but once in the bathroom, I’m able to sink down onto the soft bench at the vanity.

Pulling out my makeup, I begin prepping my skin for foundation but am stopped in my tracks when I spot something in the mirror’s reflection.

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