In her own time, she’ll come to admit that she wants me.
Needs me.
Loves me.
Almost as much as I love her.
Chapter 27
Elsie
August 12 — 32 Weeks 2 Days, Pineapple
Guilt is not an emotion I’m intimately familiar with. It’s just not something I’ve ever made room for in my life. I pursue what I want and accept the consequences of my actions when needed.
For the first time, the overwhelming feeling of guilt and a bit of shame in my chest is battling with my head for dominance.
I’m doing my job. It’s as simple as that.
I keep trying to justify to myself that I’m doing the right thing, but there’s a pervasive feeling that today is a mistake.
It feels like a betrayal of trust, even if I don’t intend it to be.
“You sure you want to do this?” Oliver asks through the phone.
“I have to.” I sigh. “If we want to keep this client, I need to be at this inspection.”
“We could send someone else. You’re eight months pregnant. You’re not supposed to be traveling. They would understand.” Oliver is quiet for a minute before speaking again. “It’s the only thing he asked of you.”
“What Marshall doesn’t know won’t kill him.” I snap back. “Sorry. I’m just...”
“I know.” He takes a fortifying breath. “I’m going to tell this to you as your friend, not your employee. If you do this, it’s going to blow up in your face.”
“I know,” I reply.
“You know I’ll support your decision, but the marshmallow has kind of grown on me. I don’t want to see him hurt either.” Oliver says solemnly.
“Marshmallow?”
“What? It fits. He’s like a big marshmallow, sickeningly sweet and adorably squishy.” He laughs.
I chuckle before I can help myself and before reality sets back in.
When Marshall quit his job, his only ask from me was that I stop traveling and begin to prioritize our chid, our family, more.
The reminder of the joy on his face when I agreed flashes through my mind and doubles the intense tightness in my chest.
I know without a shadow of a doubt that Marshall cares for me.
I can tell he’s stopped himself from admitting he loves me several times now, but I know why.
He doesn’t know how I’ll respond.
Which is fair, considering I don’t know how I’d respond either.
I care about him. I do.
Wanting what’s best for him and treasuring the time we’ve had together is one thing, but building a life with another person is an entirely different.