Page 17 of Used

I’m only 29. I thought I had more time.

But this?

This is everything I want out of life.

The woman I’ve obsessed over for the past year is pregnant with my child.

A vision of Elsie, round with our baby and wearing a white dress as she walks down the aisle to me at our wedding flashes before me. Pictures of holidays and birthdays run through my thoughts. There are mundane moments of making messes in the kitchen and playing in the backyard under the hot Texas sun. I envision our little family growing and forming memories together.

With each thought racing through my mind, my heart lifts, and excitement builds.

Letting go of Elsie’s hand, I stand abruptly and walk to my bedroom.

I need to pack.

There’s no way I’m letting my future wife and mother of my children go a single day without me there to support her.

I’ve spent my adulthood as a bachelor.

Many would even describe me as a player.

A man whore.

But all that’s over today.

Because now I’m a father.

A father.

Damn.

Chapter 5

Elsie

It took me a half hour to gather myself up from Marshall’s couch before I realized that he wasn’t coming back. I could hear him in the other room, but I couldn’t bring myself to go and face him. Something kept me rooted to the spot.

When I finally managed to move, I found Selene on the back porch of their home. She tried to talk to me… tried to comfort me… but nothing got through. It was like she was talking through water. Everything sounded garbled and messy through the pain that was radiating through my body.

Finally, I peeled myself away from her, concern still painting her face, and got in my car to drive home.

All I could focus on was getting home, locking myself into my safe space, and never coming out.

I don’t remember the drive or taking the elevator up to my apartment and unlocking the door.

But now, ensconced in my bedroom, I undress and head into the bathroom for yet another comfort shower. Standing outside the shower, I lock down my thoughts while staring expressionless at the water falling from my shower head.

I can’t fall apart.

Not yet.

The steam building in the room helps me stay grounded enough to recognize when the shower is ready. Stepping in, I let the water cascade over my body, and my thoughts finally run free.

I don’t know what I expected when I drove over there and demanded Selene and Gunnar’s key to the pool house to confront Marshall.

Anger, maybe.

Confusion, sure.

---