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“Can I move back into the pool house?” I ask.

“I think that’d be best,” Selene says with a small sympathetic smile.

Dropping my head into my hands, my tipsy thoughts swirl, thinking about how badly I fucked up here.

I pushed her when I should have been patient.

She’s always been her very own person, independent of what anyone else expected from her. No wonder she freaked out when I started insisting on something she hadn’t planned for. It means changing her life plan. Everything she thought she wanted changes if she makes a decision like this.

Hell, I’m shocked that she so quickly let me invade her life like I did.

But that unto itself gives me hope.

She needs me.

Whether she’s ready to admit it or not, she needs me and what I’ve become for her.

She’s not ready to admit it, but we are family.

I just have to get her to realize it herself.

Maybe I’m down the street instead of down the hall, but I’m not going anywhere.

Not really.

I’m here for her.

For life.

Chapter 32

Elsie

September 13 — 36 Weeks 6 Days, Winter Melon

It’s past time I dragged myself out of bed today, but I can’t manage it.

Today, I turn 35, and despite being a day worthy of celebration, I’ve never felt so empty.

The past few days have been tense.

Marshall is barely around. He stayed Sunday night after I kicked him out of my bedroom, but the following day, he had his bag packed and left. I only know he went to Selene and Gunnar’s again because Selene texted me.

He’s keeping his distance. I get it.

I also hate it, mostly because I know it’s my fault.

After I forced Marshall out of my room, an overwhelming sense of regret settled into my body, though it took my brain much longer to catch up to the feeling.

I hurt him.

I broke his heart when I said no to his marriage proposal. Not even just his proposal. I broke his heart when I denied him the vision of his own happily ever after.

Today is another check-up for the baby, and I know Marshall will still be there, ever the present father, but I’m not prepared to see him.

Seeing him will bring up all the guilt I can’t seem to push down. I’m not prepared to be crushed by my failure as a parent and a partner.

So, I sit here in bed, well past when I usually get up, trying to convince myself that this is all worthwhile.

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