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“I’m just thinking about what comes next. You know. And how awesome it’s going to be to be able to have this all the time.”

“Marshall. What are you talking about?” I ask a little bit more desperation in my tone.

“You know. Love, marriage, baby carriage.” He shrugs, rising from the bed and ambling over to the bathroom door.

“What?” I ask, panic clawing at my chest. “Marshall. We’ve said absolutely nothing about love or marriage. Where are you getting these ideas from.”

“Well, it makes sense. Doesn’t it? That we get married?” He asks, pausing from the doorway.

“No. It absolutely does not. We’re having a baby together, sure.” I start.

“No. We’re starting a family together.”

“You keep using that word,” I say, rolling out of bed and shuffling over to my dresser to grab clothes to pull on.

“What? Family?”

I freeze at the word and what it seems to mean to Marshall.

“Yes! That!” I cry, throwing on an oversized t-shirt to cover myself.

“What’s wrong with calling us a family? That’s what we are.” He shrugs.

“No. We are not. We are nothing like a family.” I snap, my anger rising as I turn to face him again. “We are the furthest thing from a family.”

“Elsie...” He says slowly.

“No. Absolutely not.” I shake my head, trying to push down the clawing panic rising in my throat. “We are having a baby. We fuck occasionally. But we are not a family.”

“Fine. Not yet, then.” His voice is soft, like he’s speaking to a spooked animal. “But we could be.”

My hands start to shake, and anger starts to burn under my skin.

There’s no way that he’s really talking about this right now. No way that he’s suggesting what I know he is.

We can’t be a family.

Family means failure.

It means everything I’ve worked for, everything I’ve worked not to be, was for nothing. My independence means nothing if he’s right.

Worse off, it will end.

This vision he has in his head of us down the line is just that, a vision. It’s a mirage of his own making.

“Marshall, I need you to leave,” I say lowly, trying not to blow up at this man who I know only means the best.

“Elsie. Hear me out.” He takes a few steps towards me, and I back myself into the dresser. “We could get married. Have a house with a white picket fence, two and a half kids, and a dog. We could make it happen. We could have it all.”

“I can’t,” I say breathlessly.

“You can. I promise you can.” He says, his eyes glittering with a dream that I can’t see for myself.

“Please. Leave.” I beg. “Before I say something, I’ll regret.”

“I’m not leaving, Elsie. That’s the point. I’m not going to leave you. Not you or this baby.” He says, reaching out to take my hand, which I quickly snatch away. “Elsie. You can have everything if you take it.”

His expression is so earnest and open. His voice has gone so soft and tender it makes me want to scream.

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