Page 3 of Her Heart's Desire

Everything and anything to help me forget today. "Good. I'm ready to get drunk tonight."

Colleens' brows furrow she carefully asks me, "How was the rest of your workday?"

I can tell she's trying to figure out why I'm acting so restless. I make sure I keep my tone as even as possible, not wanting her to know about my encounter with Silas. Or that I've been freaking out on the inside since then, either. Tonight, I'm determined to keep Mr. Cabot far from my mind. I can figure out the rest later. "Fine. Nothing too crazy. How about you?"

Colleen and Ashley exchange a look, as if they're talking to each other in their minds. They do that sometimes, since they work together in the ER. I hate it; I don't enjoy feeling left out. When they finally turn back to me, they answer, "Not too bad. We had someone come in who fell off a ladder. Another who ended up having appendicitis. But that's it."

"Well, not exactly…" Colleen trails off when Ashley elbows her. My hackles raise. What the hell is going on?

"Guys, spit it out." They both just shake their heads, leaving me confused, but I don't have too much time to think about it before Ricky comes over.

"Hey ladies, what can I get you?" he asks his heated gaze trails over Ashley, but of course she doesn't notice. She just looks up at him and grins, forcing him to glance down at his notepad as she answers, "I'll have my usual, Ricky. A glass of white wine."

The guy is freaking in love with her and has been as long as I've known him, but she seems to be oblivious. I wish he would either tell her or she would realize it on her own. Until then I think she'll stay in her marriage with Simon, a marriage that she has no business being in. She always gets mad whenever we talk about it. Meaning I keep my mouth shut, even if I want to scream at her for being so dumb.

He nods as Colleen and I both order our drinks, a light beer for her and a vodka tonic for me. He turns back to the bar, but I stop him before he gets too far. "Hey Ricky, just a heads up we have a few more of the ladies coming."

Waving me off, he yells as he continues back to the bar. "Sounds good. I'll make sure to keep an eye out."

Focusing back on the two across from me I narrow my eyes. "So are you going to tell me what you were talking about before Ricky came over?"

They both inhale and glance at each other once again, then Colleen leans forward. "We met the new owner of the hospital."

This time its my turn to take in a deep breath. I've told them loosely about Smith and his dad, but what they don't know is that I basically stalked him for a year after I broke up with his son. I had to break myself off cold turkey, and I'm not sure that has really worked. That's probably why I throw myself into these ridiculous dating apps. Gulping, I turn away when I whisper, "Okay."

"Are you okay?" Ashley tucks her chestnut brown hair behind her ear and asks with a concerned tone.

Keeping my gaze down because if I look at either of them when I answer, they will know without a doubt that I'm lying. "Yes. I'll be fine. Seriously, when will we really see each other? He's just the guy who makes the rules and I'm the nurse who follows them."

Thankfully, the rest of the girls walk in, and that conversation is left to the wayside. When they all come to our table, I throw my hands up in the air showing as much enthusiasm as possible. "Hey ladies!"

"Hey!" they all shout in unison, freaking crazy how in tune we all are with each other. We all exchange hugs as if we haven't seen each other in years, and not just a few hours or days ago. Once we're all settled, Ricky makes his way over to the table, setting mine, Ashley, and Colleen's drinks down in front of us, before he takes the orders of the rest of the group.

When everyone's done, I turn my focus to Hazel. "How's the wedding planning going?"

She gives me this goofy smile, like she does every time someone mentions her wedding. "It's going good. We're getting really close, only three more weeks left. Dexter and I are doing the favors this week."

Dexter is the guy she's marrying and they're perfect for each other. They grew up here in Rose Valley and were friends as kids. Hazel left right after college for some reason. I've never been told the specifics but I take it that things weren't great between them at the time. When she moved back after being gone, they rekindled their relationship and are now getting married. I can't wait to go; it's going to be a party of a lifetime, her words not mine.

"Yay! Did you finish the registry?"

She nods. "Yeah that was what we did last weekend. I will say its been exhausting but I can't wait to be Mrs. Dexter Hernandez."

"I would hope so. You have literally been waiting a lifetime for it," Ashley chimes in. Ashley and Hazel are sisters but complete opposites in everything but looks. Hazel loves to be organized and gentle while Ashley is more chaotic in nature, but we love them both.

Hazel chuckles at her sister's comments. "That's for sure. We were being dumb. Now we're not."

My brow furrows. "What do you mean by that?"

"I just mean we stayed away from each other and were mad for so long, when if we would've talked, maybe we could've been this happier a lot sooner."

As the girls continue to talk about wedding plans around me, my thoughts move back to Silas. Somehow, he looks better with age, his suit clung perfectly to every plane of his body. I never really knew the meaning of the saying "the man should wear the suit, the suit shouldn't wear the man," until today.

His hair was perfectly styled not a hair out of place. I did notice that he has a little silver on his temples, even his scruff had some gray in it, and I couldn't help but imagine what that would feel like between my legs.

Shaking my head from the dirty thoughts, I go back to what Hazel said, how it was their fault for keeping themselves from each other all those years. Could it really be that easy? How would he respond if I told him I wanted him?

The image of Smith screaming at me about how his dad would never want me and will always love his mom flashes in my mind. No, I can't go there. Even if I could convince Silas to take a chance on us, I couldn't do that to Smith. Silas is his dad. I would hate myself if I came between them.

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