Page 64 of My Rules

“What?” I look around in confusion to see that Chloe is now down at the end of the aisle with Juliet. “Sorry, sorry,” I say in a fluster as I take off down to them.

“Now, pretend to hold your flowers, and walk up the aisle to the music.” The music begins. She holds her hand up. “And now.” I take the large steps up the aisle. “Now you, Chloe,” she calls. “And finally, our beautiful bride, Juliet.”

We get to the front and take our places like we practiced. Then Juliet joins us, and Henley takes her hands in his. Unable to help it, he kisses her softly, and as everyone chuckles, my eyes fill with tears anew.

Stop.

This is not about you, Rebecca. Get ahold of yourself.

In a detached state, trapped somewhere between the past and the present, I watch as we go through the logistics of tomorrow’s ceremony.

“Well done, everyone,” the marriage celebrant tells us. “Let’s celebrate with a glass of champagne.” She gestures to the restaurant. “We have canapés and champagne ready and waiting for us.”

Everyone chatters excitedly as we walk toward the event center, and the closer we get, the higher my need to be alone grows.

I feel unstable.

Once inside, I fake a smile and take off in search of the ladies’ room. I take the stairs; I’m going to go to the upstairs one. I need some distance.

I burst in the door and sit on the toilet and put my head into my hands.

I’m hot and clammy and ... fuck.

My breath is ragged, my heart is thumping hard in my chest, and I sit for a long time as I try to pull myself together.

I hear the door open and shut. “Bec,” Blake’s voice says softly.

I close my eyes . . .

“You okay?”

“I’ll be out in a minute,” I say in as happy a voice as I can.

My heart beats harder. Damn it.

Leave me alone.

“Okay, see you outside,” he says. The door opens and closes, and I put my hand over my mouth and sob out loud.

I don’t want to be this person.

“Open the door,” Blake’s voice snaps.

Shit.

“I’m fine, Blake.”

“Open it, or I’m climbing over the top.”

Damn it. I open the door, and the minute I see his face, I burst into tears.

“Hey.” He wraps me in his arms. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing.” I snuggle into his chest as he holds me. The lump in my throat hurts so bad as I try to hold my tears in.

“Bec. What’s wrong?” he whispers into my hair. “Talk to me.”

“Nothing, I’m being stupid.”

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