Page 242 of My Rules

“You did the right thing by coming here,” Henley says matter-of-factly.

“Why do you say that?”

“Rebecca’s got a lot of baggage.”

I nod as a sinking feeling creeps back in.

“I still think that one day, you two will end up together.” Antony sighs.

“We won’t.” I shake my head. “She had her chance.”

“I don’t believe this is all her fault,” Henley fires back.

“So it’s mine?” I point to my chest.

“Not at all. The timing’s not right, that’s all.”

“The timing is never going to be right for us.” I sip my beer. “She made sure of that, and why the fuck are you defending her all of a sudden?”

“Because she’s suffering, and I feel sorry for her ... but I did warn you.”

“When did you warn me?” I scoff.

“All along I told you that she wasn’t ready. Remember, hurt people hurt people.”

“What was that bullshit, anyway?” I roll my eyes. “Why didn’t you just speak English and spell it out for me? It would have saved me a whole lot of heartbreak. It goes like this: Listen, Blake, Rebecca is still in love with her ex, so you should steer fucking clear of her at all costs.”

“Believe me, I tried,” Henley fires back.

“She is not in love with John,” Antony snaps, disgusted. “Are you crazy?”

“All I know is that she’s not in love with me.”

“You know that’s not true,” Henley says. “She’s just sorting through some shit.”

“I don’t care, anyway.” I shrug. “I’m getting back on the dating scene. Rebecca who?”

Henley winks and clinks his beer with mine. “Attaboy.”

Rebecca

I lie on the couch and scroll through my phone. My finger hovers over the name.

Blake.

It’s been seventeen weeks since I spoke to my best friend. And I want to tell him all about the things I’m doing to try and get better.

All the silent tears that fall.

Can he feel my love from here?

I go to yoga and meditation and therapy, and I’m keeping a journal, and Daisy and I walk twice a day ... and ...

I miss him.

More than I’ve ever missed anything.

I have this deep ache in my heart that won’t go away, and I fear that I’ve ruined my life forever. For how can I ever feel whole again if I don’t have him by my side?

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