Page 229 of My Rules

I did say no . . .

“Do you want to take anything?” Juliet looks around at the roses. “What do we do here? Shall we take them all, or ...?”

“No point,” Henley snaps as he walks past us out the door and gets into the car.

“Don’t mind him,” Juliet whispers as she puts her arm around me. “He’ll calm down.”

I put my head into my hands. “I was just taken by shock, you know, and ... I just handled things so bad, and ...”

“I know.” She tries to comfort me.

“And I thought he was cheating, and I just was so mad and horrible, and I just didn’t know, you know? And I just ...” Snot is running down my face, and I’m near hysterical.

“I know, baby.”

“And Blake won’t answer his phone, and I tried to get him to come back. Where is he? Is he okay?”

“I don’t know. He called Henley to come and collect you.”

“Can we go find him?”

“Let’s just get you and Daisy home, shall we?” She puts her arm around me.

“But what about all the roses?” I stammer as I look around.

“We can come back tomorrow; I don’t know, let’s just go home. Maybe Blake is at home.”

“Where’s the baby?”

“Chloe and Antony are minding her.”

Oh god, everybody knows.

I follow her out to the car. Daisy and I get in the back seat, and Henley pulls out onto the road.

The drive home is made in silence as I mentally go through our fight and stare at the scenery through tears.

If marriage is just a piece of paper to you, then you really should go back to your husband, because that’s exactly all it was to him.

I close my eyes in horror.

I deserve better than this secondhand love that you’re dishing out.

I imagine Blake going to all the trouble to find my engagement ring and working extra hours to pay for it, and all the while I was at home imagining terrible things about him.

What the hell is wrong with me?

I stare at the scenery through tears.

You let his love taint mine ... and I’ll never forgive you.

I’ll never forgive myself.

I sit at the dining table and stare into space as Chloe paces back and forward in the kitchen. “I don’t understand where he’d go.”

“Try him again,” Juliet says.

With shaky fingers, I dial Blake’s number. It’s 10:00 p.m., and no one’s heard from him. Henley and Antony are out looking for him, and this is turning into an absolute fucking nightmare.

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