Page 221 of My Rules

I walk upstairs like a zombie, get into the shower ... and like the pathetic, jilted woman I am, I sob in silence.

Daisy pulls me along as she rushes to get to Juliet and Barry as they wait on the curb outside their house. “Morning.” Juliet smiles.

“Morning.” I bend and pat Barry. “How’s my little man this morning?” I ask him. I bend and peer into the stroller at the cuteness overload. “Good morning, sweetness.” I smile.

“Are we doing the short walk or the long walk today?” Juliet asks.

“Long. I have some extra energy.”

We start walking, and I just have to tell her. It’s eating a hole inside of me. “So last night, I got proof.”

“Of what?” Juliet stops walking and stands on the spot.

“Blake was watching television, and his phone rang, and when he answered it, he went into the kitchen and was talking in a whispered voice.”

“Right,” she says, listening.

“I couldn’t hear what he was saying, but when he got back, I asked him who was on the phone, and he said Antony.”

“Okay.” She frowns. “Hang on, I’m lost. Why is that a bad thing?”

“The whole time he was on the phone in the kitchen, I was watching Antony talk to Winston and Henley as they were putting on the green.”

Her face falls.

“Antony wasn’t on the phone at all.”

“Why would he say he was on the phone with Antony if he wasn’t on the phone with Antony?”

My eyes hold hers.

“Babe,” she whispers as she pulls me into a hug. “I can’t believe this. What did you say to him?”

“Nothing, I went to bed.” We continue walking.

“What?” She screws up her face. “Why didn’t you say anything to him?”

“I couldn’t ...” I shrug, embarrassed. “I’m just going to get through the next two weeks of lessons, and then I’m going to have it out with him and end it.”

“Why are you waiting two weeks?”

“Because I have two weeks of summer school left, and I want to not have to go to work and be happy in front of children with a broken heart.”

And the masochist in me doesn’t want to say goodbye.

“I can’t believe he lied. He blatantly lied.”

“I know.” We walk in silence for a while.

“Are you okay?”

“It’s weird, you know. I just ...” I pause as I try and get the wording right in my head. “It kind of feels like I’m dead inside.”

“Like how?”

“Like I’m heartbroken and devastated ... but not surprised.”

“Well ... I’m fucking surprised,” Juliet snaps. “Not just surprised, I’m absolutely infuriated.”

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