Page 156 of My Rules

“No,” she stammers. “I don’t want you to go.”

I stare at her in confusion.

“Can we watch a movie?” she whispers in a panic.

“Babe.” I gesture to my crotch. “I’m in no state to lie beside you and watch a movie. I don’t have that kind of control. It’s okay, I’ll see you tomorrow.” I get up and step toward the door.

She swallows the lump in her throat, and the look on her face nearly breaks my heart.

She’s scared of me leaving in this state.

I fucking hate him.

“What if ...” I shrug. This is insanity. “What if ... I had a shower upstairs ... alone.” I hold my hands up in surrender. “And I took care of business.”

Her eyes search mine.

“And then I could come down and we could watch a movie ... together.” I try to think of the right thing to say. “Without”—I gesture to my crotch again—“any of this getting in the way.”

“I just ...” Her eyes well with tears.

“It’s okay, Bec.”

“It’s not.”

“Yeah.” I pull her into a hug and kiss her forehead. “It is.”

She stands in my arms for an extended time, and I can feel the regret oozing out of her. “It’s not your fault that you’re too sexy for your own good,” I whisper into her hair.

I feel her smile into my neck.

“I’m going to take a shower.”

She nods and steps back from me, and I slowly walk up the stairs and into the bathroom. I close the door and stare into the mirror at my reflection, wondering if I’m man enough to handle this crap.

Her cuts are deep.

She’s got the baggage of a 747.

How must it feel to have your heart broken so bad that it still affects you physically over twelve months later?

I can’t imagine ever having a love so deep. Maybe I’m in way over my head here? Maybe I should just run for the hills?

But we all know I won’t.

Because it’s her ... and because she’s the only one who makes me feel like this.

And whether that’s a good or bad thing, I just don’t know.

I take my time and turn the shower on, undress, and step in under the hot water.

My cock’s still throbbing, begging to be milked ... but the shine has gone from the apple. It’s not as tempting as it was twenty minutes ago.

I don’t want to jerk off alone in the shower. I want to be with her.

I stand under the water for a long time, my body excited. The rest of me, not so much ... I begin to soap up, and the door slowly opens. I look up and frown as Rebecca walks in.

Her eyes drop down my body and linger on my erection before rising up to meet mine.

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