Page 130 of My Rules

My eyes widen in horror as my cock twinges with excitement.

“What?” Antony whispers. “That’s fucking disgusting ... and extremely hot.”

“I know, right,” Henley agrees.

“So, like ...” I frown as I try to picture it. “Is the baby there?”

“No.” He looks left and right in guilt. “It’s these hot women who are taking drugs to make them lactate to satiate men’s kinks,” he whispers. “Hot women with huge, voluptuous tits.”

My mouth falls open in horror as my cock begins to thump. I rearrange my erection in my pants. “That is ... gross.”

“Yeah, that’s why you’ve got a semi.”

“There’s no semi; it’s a raging boner.”

“I started reading one story, and it was so fucking hot that I had to stop and make Juliet have sex with me.”

“I’ve got a date with my right hand after even hearing about it,” I murmur. “What did she say about you reading that stuff?”

“She thinks I was reading a crime story, commended me on winding down properly.”

I chuckle.

Antony grabs the golf putter off him and lines up his shot. “Send me the name of this book. Might even be worth having kids for.”

I chuckle. “I’m pretty sure if you have a baby and your wife is feeding it, and you come at her naked with a hard-on and say My turn ... it isn’t going to end well for you.”

The boys both laugh as we imagine the scenario.

“A man can dream, though, right?” Ant smiles.

“Look, all I’m saying is, this Kindle ... is the fucking mother ship of sex tips for deviants,” Henley tells us. “I’m going to have a doctorate in this shit by the time I’ve finished reading all these books.”

“Excellent.” Antony putts the ball. “Same.”

Rebecca

“Knock, knock, anybody home?” a familiar voice calls.

“Juliet!” I cry in excitement. “How was the honeymoon?” I open the door in a rush and give her a big hug. “Oh, I missed you. Feels like you’ve been gone for a month.”

“Oh my god, me too. Barry was so excited when we got home.”

“I bet he was. Come in, come in. Tell me all about it.”

“We had the best time.” She smiles dreamily. “We lay in the sun and slept and ate and went to the most beautiful restaurants.”

“How does it feel to be a married woman?” I smile.

Juliet holds her hand up to show me her wedding rings. “Amazing.” She looks around my house. “What have I missed? Was Barry well behaved?”

“He was a perfect angel,” I lie.

I’m not going to tell her about all my makeup being ruined, that he chewed up four pairs of my lace underpants, killed all my potted plants, and the small fact that he ate Blake’s two-thousand-dollar rug.

“I’m even thinking of getting a dog myself.” Not a lie—I actually am, but I want a well-behaved one. “Let me put the kettle on. I want to hear every detail.” I smile. “You have no idea how much I missed you.”

“Same.” Juliet walks in and flops down on my couch. “It’s great to be home.”

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