Page 107 of My Rules

I just like lying next to her, and sometimes, if I’m lucky, we even fall asleep this way.

I pull out the couch, and she dives onto it and sits cross-legged as she eats her ice cream. As I watch her for a moment, bright-green face, uneven pigtails in her hair, and flannelette pajamas, I have an out-of-body experience.

Did that really just happen?

Let me get this straight—I pulled out of sex with two of the hottest women on earth to eat ice cream with someone who doesn’t give a shit about how she looks in front of me.

The thought is utterly ridiculous, and I smile over at her.

“What?” She smiles back.

“What is that green stuff supposed to do, anyway?”

“Make me irresistible.”

“To who . . . aliens?”

“Let’s hope.” She puts a huge spoonful of ice cream into her mouth. “So good,” she mumbles with her mouth full.

I take a taste. “Hmmm ...”

“Don’t forget about the school visit this week,” she reminds me.

“How could I forget? You’ve told me ten million times.”

“Yeah, well. It’s important.”

“Since when is a five-year-old interested in what a doctor has to say?” I reply.

“Since now.” She watches me for a minute and then smiles. “So ... tell me about your date.”

“Well, the whole time I was there, I was dreaming of ice cream and you, so ...” I shrug.

“You idiot,” she laughs. “Are you ever serious for one minute?”

More than you know.

“What happened?” she repeats.

“I don’t know.” I sigh. “I’m over dating. I’m over women in general, actually.”

“Since when?”

I shrug, unsure how to answer.

“You know what I think? I think you’re just over playing the field, and you’re getting ready to settle down.”

I twist my lips; the thought is depressing.

“It’s fine. This is a transition period, and you know what transition periods signify?”

“Boredom.”

She gives me a broad, beautiful smile. “New beginnings.”

“Yeah, well.” I keep shoveling in my ice cream. “I kind of liked my life how it was.”

We eat in silence for a while, both lost in our own thoughts.

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