Page 195 of My Rules

“Now, where would I be if I were a kettle?” Blake talks to himself as he opens and closes all the cupboards.

“I’m going to take a rain check,” I tell him. “You have your tea, and take your time. I just need to shower and go to bed.”

“You okay?” He frowns down at me as he pulls me into his arms.

“Yeah.” I kiss him softly. “I’m sorry.”

“Don’t be.”

“Take your time.”

“Is that code for you want to be sick in private?” He smirks.

“Yes,” I murmur.

“Got you.” He releases me out of his arms. “You go be sick in private.” He turns me away from him. “Call me if you need me.” He taps my behind. “I’m right here for you.”

“Okay.” I march up the stairs as my caustic tears break the dam, and I rush into the bedroom, close the door, and lean up against it.

Just one week.

It’s taken him exactly one week to break down my walls and for me to have deep feelings for him. I get a vision of us laughing and cuddling ... making love.

I can’t go through a betrayal again; I won’t survive it.

The thought rolls my stomach, and I dry retch and run to the bathroom. I open the lid on the toilet and fall to my knees in front of it.

In silence, alone, poisoned by insecurity, I throw up again and again.

The bed dips as Blake climbs out of it, and I drag my eyes open.

I think I’ve slept all of an hour.

“Hey.” I rub my eyes.

“Hey.” Blake smiles as he sits on the bed beside me. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m okay.”

He brushes the hair back from my face. “You don’t have to come to breakfast with my family if you don’t want.”

“No. I want to.” I sit up onto my elbows and look around the room. “What time did you come to bed? I didn’t hear you come in.”

That’s an appalling lie. I pretended to be asleep when he came to bed, and only once I was lying safely in his arms could I finally relax.

What does that say about me? Pretending to be asleep to avoid him but only being able to relax once he’s wrapped around me.

I’m an actual psychopath.

I can feel myself being one, and yet I have no control over my thought processes.

“What time do we have to be there?” I ask.

“Half hour.”

“Okay, I’ll get ready.”

He goes to kiss me, and I pull out of his grip and stand. “Can you make me a cup of tea, babe?” I ask.

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