Page 92 of The Bonus

Unexpected emotion fills me and I get a lump in my throat.

They’re mine.

I sit in the back of the car as Mark drives me home from work.

You could cut the air with a knife; my heart is heavy and we are both silent.

How do you tell someone you are about to marry that you have two illegitimate children?

Ariana is going to be heartbroken.

I’m heartbroken…but not for the same reason.

I’ve missed out on so much of my children’s lives, time I can never get back.

And Grace…

I get a vision of her at her workplace, her auburn hair, and a face that I knew so well. The deep sense of familiarity I got from her, the one person on earth I trusted with my life.

So evil… And yet, still an ethereal creature.

My mind is buzzing with a million scenarios, none of them good.

The car pulls to a stop out the front of my building and we both sit still in the car.

“Good luck,” Mark says softly, he knows I’m walking into the gallows to hurt the person who loves me the most.

“If I could change it…” I whisper.

“I know.”

I drag myself out of the car and take the elevator to my floor, the double doors open and the scent of something delicious instantly fills my senses.

My heart sinks and I close my eyes.

How is this happening?

I walk into the apartment and put my briefcase in my office and then I find Ariana in the kitchen. I lean on the doorjamb and watch her for a moment.

She’s doing what she loves, the best damn cook in New York city if you ask me.

Wearing an apron, she’s putting something in the oven while things are cooking on the hotplates, a million things on the go.

“Hello.”

She looks up and sees me and smiles. “I didn’t hear you come in.”

“But I did.” I smile as she kisses me. I see her glass of red wine. “Drinking on a school night?”

“I’m celebrating.” She pours me a glass.

“What are we celebrating?”

She passes me my glass of wine and holds hers up to mine. “Thirty-five days until we get married.”

I force a smile and clink my glass with hers. “Something smells delicious. What is my chef serving tonight?”

“We have a kingfish ceviche followed by a ragu with creamy polenta and tiramisu for dessert.”