Page 84 of The Bonus

I inwardly kick myself. Shit.

Why did I curse and carry on like an immature child on the phone?

Damn it, I need to be smarter about this.

Something about that man brings out the absolute worst in me.

Ugh… So stupid.

I storm into my office and dump my briefcase on my desk. Now, to top off my morning from hell, I have to organize home loans all day.

Ugh, I hate my job.

I work at a bank as a loan manager, it’s a good position, great pay with hours that I can work around the kids. I should be grateful for the opportunity, and I am…it’s just… Mindless, boring, and crappy working out how much debt people can go into all day long.

As much as I hate to admit it, I miss the exotic days in New York of wearing six-inch heels and tight pencil skirts to work and staying back and having drinks with my work friends in cool bars. I get a vision of back then and Gabriel in his black briefs making me coffee every morning while I went through his day.

Stop it.

“Good morning,” Mervin calls as he walks past my office.

“Morning, Merv,” I reply as I open up my computer.

He sticks his head back around my door. “Do you want to buy some brownie cookies?”

Ugh…

“I guess.” I grab my purse. “How many fundraisers do you do exactly? I swear I need to loan myself some cash just to support your kids’ sporting activities.”

“I know, right, I’m sick of selling this shit too.” He walks into my office and puts the box of cookies on my desk.

I pass him over ten dollars. “You know I buy these things from you with the full intent of taking them home and sharing them and then, next thing you know, I’ve eaten the lot of them.”

“Same.” He takes the money and looks through his wallet for change.

I scrunch my nose as a waft of something bad surrounds me, and I look around. “What is that god-awful smell?”

“I don’t know?” He looks around.

“Oh…it’s disgusting.” I wince.

“The hell is it?” He shrugs and looks on the bottom of his shoe. “Hopefully my office doesn’t smell.” He disappears down the hall.

“Ruth,” I call. “Do you know what that smell is?”

“Not really,” she calls, disinterested. “I smelled it before when I walked in the door, though.”

Fuck’s sake.

“Oh yuck, it’s putrid in my office, I think there must be a dead rat in the ceiling or something,” Merv calls down the hall.

“Eww.”

This day just keeps getting better.

4 p.m.

An email pops up on my screen,

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