Page 39 of The Bonus

Is this really happening?

“Any questions?” the doctor asks.

“No.” I stand. “Thank you.”

“Congratulations again.” He smiles.

“Thanks.” I walk back to the car in a daze, Deb is chatting on and on but I hardly hear a word she’s saying.

I’m having a baby.

His baby.

I put my hand over my stomach, a little piece of Gabriel is growing inside of me right now.

“Are you going to open the door?”

“Huh?” I glance up.

Deb widens her eyes. “Unlock the car.”

“Oh. Right.” I unlock the car and stare down at it.

“Do you want me to drive?” she asks.

“Maybe. I’m so distracted.”

“No shit.”

The drive home is made in silence, well, not really, because Deb is chatting away and having a conversation, but I don’t hear a word.

I’m lost.

My mind is swinging between fear to the dream that he really loved me and maybe this baby was meant to be.

I get a vision of him being excited and lifting me up in the air and swinging me around as we laugh…

“Earth to Grace.” She waves her hand in front of my face. “Are you even listening?”

“Oh, sorry.” I glance over at her, almost embarrassed by my fantasy. “What?”

“You need to go to New York and tell him.”

“I know. I just need to get my head around it first.”

“No. You need to get your head around it together.”

My stomach sinks because I know he’s going to be devastated and I’m not sure I can handle one more rejection from him and survive it.

“Do you want me to come?” Deb asks.

“Where?”

“To New York,” she says. “Then if things turn to shit we can at least have a few days in New York shopping and drinking cocktails.”

I look at her deadpan.

“Oh right.” She winces. “You can’t drink cocktails. Eish, this is boring already. Shopping then.”

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