Page 251 of The Bonus

“Uh-huh.” He picks me up and carries me down the hallway and sits me on the toilet.

“You know, I thought you’d changed,” I tell him.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re still so angry at work?”

“I’m assertive, there’s a difference, and what would make you think I’ve changed?”

“Well…you’re a big pussy cat with the kids.”

“I’m no different, Grace. I’m exactly the same person I’ve always been.” He frowns at me as if having an epiphany. “Has it ever occurred to you that you didn’t know the real me back then?”

I stare at him, confused.

No. It hadn’t.

“Do you want me to pull down your pants?” He raises a suggestive eyebrow.

“No.” I smirk. “I’ve got it.”

The pink glow lights up the lake, and I smile into the sunset. The kids are chattering away as Gabriel cooks steak on the grill, and a new sense of calm has fallen over me.

It’s like…the unknown has begun to reveal itself to me…to us.

Seeing the children with him… Everything has changed. Maybe it’s my talk with Mark today, maybe it’s the drugs, maybe I’m just really fucking high.

But for the entirety of my pregnancy and the children’s lives, I have lived in fear, that Gabriel would find out about them…that the children would find out I lied to them…that my parents would discover who the father is. That he would take the kids from me.

Suddenly, the only thing surrounding me is truth, and it isn’t half as horrendous as I’d envisaged. In fact, it’s been cathartic.

A huge weight of anger, regret and fear has been lifted from my shoulders, and for the first time in seven years, I feel free.

“Like this,” Gabriel says. He uses the tongs and flips the steak over and then passes them to Dominic. I watch on as Dom carefully flips the steak, concentrating so hard that his little tongue is sticking out.

Gabriel’s hand rests on Dom’s shoulder as he watches on. “Good, yes, like that.”

Dom smiles proudly, feeling so grown up.

Tonight has been pretty uneventful. After last night, we’re all exhausted, and quite honestly, I just can’t wait to get some sleep.

Gabriel and Dominic carry the tray of meat over and sit it on the table, Lucia dishes me some salad out onto my plate and Gabriel puts a piece of steak on.

“Well…” I look around proudly. “Look at us being all civilized.”

Gabriel smiles proudly, he has a certain twinkle in his eyes whenever things run smooth.

We sit together as we eat, the four of us on the lake as the sun goes down.

And even in a cast, I have a lot to be grateful for.

“Good night. I love you.”

“Love you too, Mom.”

I kiss the kids and Gabriel disappears with them to tuck them into bed.

I hop into the bathroom and go to the toilet. I’m getting the hang of this hopping thing. I need a shower, but…

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