Page 197 of The Bonus

“Oh yes you fucking are.” The veins in his forehead are sticking out so far, I can almost see his pulse.

“Since when?” I put my hands on my hips in disgust.

“Since Saturday night.”

“What? There was no being-exclusive conversation.” I screw up my face. “We had sex, Gabriel, that’s it.”

“That’s it?” he explodes. “That is not fucking it?”

“Calm down.”

“I will not fucking calm down,” he yells.

“You’re going to wake up the children,” I whisper angrily.

“Good, go wake them up.” He points upstairs like a madman. “Go tell them that I’ve thrown away my entire life to be with their mother, who just told me that she used me for sex. I’m sure they would love to hear all about it.”

He’s beginning to really piss me off now.

“I never asked you to leave anything, in fact.” I throw my hands up. “Go back to your entire life, Gabriel.” I walk out into the kitchen and he’s hot on my heels. “Marry your everything and leave me the hell alone, I don’t have time for your dramatics.”

“You will not see him again. Do you understand me?”

“You can’t tell me what to do.”

“Watch me!” he explodes. “You will do what I say.”

“I’m never going to do what you say,” I spit.

“You can and you will.”

“Listen… You can’t come back here being all holier than God and assume that I’m the devil. Seriously, Gabriel…” I puff air into my cheeks, this is a no-win situation. “I’m not Ariana,” I snap. “I’m not what you want and nor would I ever want to be.”

“You are what I want.”

“I know you still love her.”

“Not in the way I’m supposed to,” he fires back. “I love you.”

What?

We stare at each other. His chest rises and falls as he struggles for air.

“I love you, Grace,” he whispers. “I’ve always loved you.”

Oh no…

My eyes well with tears because damn it, life is cruel. For so many years all I wanted was to hear those words, and yet, now that I do, I feel nothing.

“I’m sorry.”

“What does that mean?” He frowns.

“I never wanted you to throw your life away,” I whisper, unexpected emotion overwhelms me and tears well in my eyes. “I never wanted you to feel a one-sided love. I wouldn’t wish it on my worst enemy.”

His face falls as his eyes search mine.

“Gabriel… You broke something between us, and I don’t…” I screw up my face in tears. “I wish I did love you…it would be so wonderful for the kids to have their parents together.”