Page 179 of The Bonus

He runs and takes the stairs two at a time.

“Mind if I come through your back door?” Gabriel’s deep voice purrs.

I glance up to see him standing in the doorway, he’s giving me the look, and I know exactly which back door he’s talking about.

“You will never be coming in my back door,” I mutter dryly.

“Famous last words.” He peers into the oven to see what I’m cooking.

“Listen, don’t talk to me,” I whisper as I look around to see if I can talk without anyone hearing. “You are in the doghouse.”

“Excellent.”

“How is that excellent?”

“Doggy style is when I’m at my best.”

What?

“Mom.” Lucia walks in, interrupting us. “We’re playing Uno and having a fire outside.”

“Great,” I say over enthusiastically. “Oh joy. This is the best night of my life.”

Lucia turns her back and I cross my eyes and stick my finger down my throat. Gabriel’s eyes dance with mischief. He puts a shopping bag on the kitchen counter. “And look…I bought snacks.”

“Funny you say that, I was just about to cook you up something extra special.”

“Please don’t.”

“Ha-ha, you’re so funny,” I mutter as I turn back to check on the brownies.

Kill me now.

This is a nightmare, but the kids are so excited, I can’t ruin this for them.

And he knows it.

The master manipulator.

Infuriating.

Half an hour later, we are sitting around the little card table on the lake’s edge and Gabriel is reading the instructions to Uno out loud while the children listen intently.

For fuck’s sake, this isn’t rocket science. Just deal the cards already, I don’t have time for this shit.

“Each player gets seven cards,” he reads.

“We know.” I sigh.

He glances up. “You know?” He looks around, disappointed. “You’ve all played this game before?”

“Not this exact one,” Dominic lies. “This is a different sort.”

Huh?

“Oh, good.” Gabriel smiles in relief.

Why did Dom say that? We have played this game ten million times before.

---