Page 134 of The Bonus

“In my office.”

I get a vision of him standing at the window and staring out over the view of twinkling lights as we speak.

“Working late?” I ask.

“Yeah.”

I wait for him to elaborate, again he doesn’t. I get the feeling he has something to say but for some reason won’t.

“The kids are in bed,” I tell him.

“Okay…are they alright?”

Him asking if they are all right makes me get a lump in my throat. “Yes.”

Silence…

What the hell is going on here?

“They were in a play this week at school. Lucia was a bear and Dom was a tree.”

“Yeah?” I can hear the smile in his voice. “What was the play, when a bear shits in the woods?”

I giggle. “Something like that.”

We fall into an awkward silence again.

“You know, Gabriel, I’ve been thinking.”

“What about?”

“Maybe…” I pause. “Maybe I was too over the top.”

“What do you mean?”

“If you ever want to tell them who you are and come and visit. Just come home and do it.”

Silence.

“It’s not up to me if you want them in your life. It was selfish of me to think that it was. I just…” I pause as I get another huge lump in my throat.

“You what?”

“Maybe I am the most selfish person on earth,” I whisper through tears. “I just got scared…you know?”

Silence.

We both hang on the line, waiting for the other one to say something, eventually he does.

“Good night, Gracie,” he whispers.

“Good night.”

The line goes dead and I stare at the phone in my hand.

What the hell was that?

Gabriel

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