Page 130 of The Bonus

“I have photos.” I open my phone and swipe through to a photo I took of Lucia at the game. “This is Lucia.” I pass the phone over and Claire smiles as she looks at it.

“Look at her, she’s beautiful,” she coos.

“You’ve never seen a more gorgeous child, Claire.” I smile proudly. “So smart and sweet.”

Claire smiles sadly. “And the boy?”

I swipe through my phone again, I took a few photos of photographs that were in frames on the mantle, I knew I would want to look at them later. “This is Dominic.” I pass the phone back to her and she gasps and puts her hand over her mouth. Her eyes rise to meet mine. “He’s so…”

“Like me.” I finish her sentence. “A total little prick.”

She giggles. “Really?”

“Ugh.” I sip my drink. “Totally unmanageable. We fought the first time we met.”

“Oh.” She puts her hand over her heart as she swoons. “They are so beautiful.”

I sip my drink and put my hand up for another.

“Strong children need strong parents, Gabriel,” she says. “If you want to be in their lives, don’t let Grace dictate what you can and can’t do.”

“But…”

“No buts. They can come visit and vice versa. Why do you think it has to be all or nothing?”

“Grace said…”

“Fuck Grace,” she spits, “I’m sorry, you are their father, this isn’t all about her.”

“But it is.”

“What do you mean?”

I hesitate before letting the next sentence leave my lips. “I can’t see Grace and not want her. If I see them, I have to see her, and I can’t be married to one woman while wanting another.”

Her eyes widen as she finally begins to understand the full complexities of the situation.

“You still have feelings for her?” she whispers.

“It’s like she never left. She’s all I think about, I’m dreaming of her. I nearly called Ariana by the wrong name while having sex the other day because in my head I was with Grace. I lie in bed beside my sweet, beautiful fiancée while I think about a woman who has been lying to me for seven years, Grace fucking Porter.”

“Oh fuck.” She stares at me. “Oh hell. This is bad. This is so bad, Gabriel. Your wedding to Ariana is in three weeks.”

“Do you think I don’t know that?” I whisper angrily. “I’m the worst person on earth. I’m deserting my own children because I know I can’t not want their mother.”

She holds her temples and then puts her hand up for the waiter. “I need wine for this conversation.”

I steeple my hands in front of my mouth as I think. “Why would this happen now when I’ve been so happy? For the first time in my life, I finally have my shit together.”

She twists her lips as she thinks. “Tell me about Grace.”

“I don’t even know where to start,” I fume. “She’s insufferable and a liar. A total smart-ass. She hates me, everything that comes out of her mouth is sarcastic and infuriating. Not to mention the worst cook, you have no idea how bad the food is, Claire, it would literally kill a dog. She has this terrible house in the middle of nowhere with knitted cushions and all kinds of random bullshit furnishings and she wears gym clothes around and you can see every single curve of her ass. She smells like a walking wet dream and I had to wank in her bed because I’m perverted and I’ve never met a more fucking infuriating woman,” I blurt out in a rush.

Claire stares at me, horrified. “You’re still in love with her.”

“I am not in love with her,” I spit. “I’m attracted to her, big difference.”

“You were in love with her when she worked for you.”

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