Page 124 of The Bonus

Dominic nods.

Gabriel stands and his haunted eyes meet mine. “Goodbye.”

“Goodbye.”

We stare at each other for a beat longer than we should, his eyes drop to the kids and then without another word he turns and walks off.

The earth moves beneath me…

The kids instantly start to chatter as if nothing has happened, and to them it hasn’t.

I feel the pain run through me like a tidal wave. Not for me, but for them.

He got to know them, and still he didn’t want them.

The lump in my throat hurts as I stare at the ground.

How could he walk away from the two most wonderful things on earth?

What the hell is wrong with him?

Gabriel

I get into the waiting car and slam the door.

Mark turns back to look at me.

“Drive,” I snap.

“Are you . . .”

“Yes.” I cut him off. “Drive the fucking car.”

My elbow is resting on the window and my face leans on my hand and as we pull out of the parking lot, I close my eyes so I don’t have to watch them as they disappear.

A deep, dark lead ball sits in the pit of my stomach and I know it will never go away.

That was the hardest thing I’ve ever done.

I brush my teeth and walk into the bedroom. Ariana is already in bed and reading.

I watch her for a moment, her long dark hair is plaited and her cream silk nightgown stands out against her olive skin. There is no doubt about it, Ariana is one of the most beautiful women on earth. She glances up over the top of her book and gives me a smile. “What are you doing?”

“Looking at you.”

She taps the bed beside her. “Come and look at me like that from here.”

I climb into bed and take her in my arms. I’m riddled with guilt for a million reasons. I lied to her about where I was last night, I have two children that I haven’t told her about, I’m not excited about the wedding in the slightest, but the worst thing of all is…I can’t stop thinking about Grace.

I hold her tight in my arms. She deserves so much better.

Her hand slides down my boxer shorts, her engagement ring catches on the fabric and I reach in and pull it out. “I’m tired.”

“Since when are you ever too tired for sex?”

“Since tonight.”

Since I saw her.

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