Page 72 of By Sin To Atone

“Blue?” Zeke says gentler this time. “What did he do?”

I don’t look up. I keep my eyes on the amber liquid in the glass. “He grinned and it was the scariest thing I’d ever seen. He took me into the bedroom and threw me on the bed and… He hit me. Slapped me and I was dazed. He didn’t have to. He was so much bigger than me and so strong.” I drag in a shaky breath and in my periphery, I see how Zeke’s hands are clenched, his body stiff. “I guess he decided since he couldn’t find the laptop that he’d take something else while he was there. He’d had his gun out already to threaten me with it and he set it aside. He then… When he had his hand in…” Jesus. I look away from them. All of them. I take a shaky breath, start again. “He told me what he was going to do to me, and I could see he would. He was…” My voice is so small, so shaky. I’ve never talked about this. “He undid my jeans and when he put his hand inside, I didn’t even think. I just grabbed the gun. It was right there, and I grabbed it, and I don’t even know how it went off. I don’t know.”

“Christ.” Zeke pushes his hands into his pockets.

“Did you kill him?” Jericho asks.

“I didn’t know at first. I thought maybe. He was so heavy on me, and it took forever to get him off but then he made a sound, and I think I’d only hit his shoulder or something. I don’t know. There was a lot of blood, but I didn’t wait for him to wake up. I just grabbed the checkbook I’d come for, and I ran. I didn’t even realize I was still holding onto the gun until I got to the motel.”

I rub my face, press the heels of my hands into my eyes. I still remember how it felt to have him on top of me. I can still feel his hand inside my panties.

“What did he look like?” Jericho asks, some of the edge gone from his voice.

I shake my head. I don’t want to remember. “Blond hair. Really light, like his eyes. Big too. He had a tattoo on his neck. Here.” I point behind my ear, to the side of my neck. “An O with something like a plus sign through it.”

Zeke and Jericho exchange a glance.

“Draw it,” Jericho says, getting up to retrieve a piece of paper and pencil from the desk.

“Um. Okay. It was something like this, I think. I remember because it was kind of familiar but I’m not sure why.”

I draw the symbol. Jericho looks at it, clearly doesn’t know what it is. The man with the laptop speaks up.

“It’s called a coda.”

“What is that?” Jericho asks.

“Like from a sheet of music?” I ask, realizing why I found it familiar. “I took music classes at school. It was mandatory. That’s probably why I recognized it. I don’t remember what it stood for though.”

“Finale,” the man fills in, still busy on the laptop.

“Didn’t know you studied music,” Zeke says to him.

“I am a man of many interests,” he says with a smile.

“And the other man?” Zeke asks.

I shake my head. “I couldn’t see his face. Just heard his voice. He had a long coat on and a hat. There was something though. I’m not sure, it was dark, but I think he only had one hand.”

“How do you know that?”

“His coat, it was pinned where his right hand should have been.”

Another glance is exchanged between the brothers.

“I know my father was in over his head. What he’d done this time, stealing what he stole, it was not his usual kind of job. He was small time, and this one was going to be his jackpot, he’d said. But I know he was afraid of whoever he was working for, too.”

Robbie turns the laptop around. “There were a lot of files on this computer once. Looks like they were moved to an external drive.”

My heart leaps. How the fuck does he know that?

“Some that were in a buried file I’ve been able to retrieve but I’m guessing there are more. Any idea where that external drive might be?”

Yeah. In my pocket. I don’t say that though. I sit on my hands, trying to stop them from shaking and shake my head. “I guess my dad had moved them.” I lean my nose into my shoulder to scratch it. When I look up, I see Zeke’s eyes intently watching me. They narrow a little.

“I think Blue is tired,” he says suddenly, stepping away from the mantle.

I get up to my feet, nod, grateful to get out of here.

---