Page 108 of Kept in the Dark

The sounds of nature's fury somehow brought her peace when she was a little girl. Even then, she understood the darkness and the force and power that accompanied the loud crackling and bright shots of light.

Hailey would always hide under her covers, but not Sara. Sara would stare at it with amazement and envy.

Now, she focused on its sounds, searching with her own fury for the peace rain once brought. Closing her eyes, she gave herself permission to relax and live in the moment. Gavin held her hand, rubbing his thumb on hers as she melted into him, laying her head on his shoulder. As she did, she realized it was the most peaceful thing she’d done since before the drugs. And that had been a lifetime ago.

How pathetic was that? Her life was so destructive that she hadn’t had a moment of peace in nearly seventeen years. That was more than half her lifetime.

When she got out of prison, she thought revenge was what her heart craved, to make everyone feel the pain she felt. She wanted to tear them down, piece by piece, like they’d done to her.

But it was in this moment that she realized it wasn't revenge her heart craved. It was peace. And peace was so foreign to her that she set out for blood instead of contentment.

Maybe it was time to lay her revenge to rest.

Gavin pulled her from her thoughts, “Do you want to talk about what happened with Chase today? It looked pretty heated.”

She knew he was both curious and slightly worried. Maybe even jealous? She appreciated that he gave her space to choose what she shared.

Sara shrugged. “He wanted to rekindle things.”

Gavin tensed but kept his tone kind. “How do you feel about that?”

She lifted her head, looked at him, and smiled. “I told him no. Number one, he’s married. Number two…well, I like you.”

Gavin lifted a brow and smiled. “Wow, so you admit it?”

She giggled. “I thought laying my head on your shoulder made it obvious.”

“Eh, my grandma does that.”

Sara rolled her eyes. “Don’t compare me to your grandma.”

She studied his face, her eyes darting to his lips. He didn’t make a move, but she couldn’t help but notice his pulse throbbing. She brought herself close to him, her nose nearly touching his. She wanted to kiss him but was scared.

Did she even remember how to kiss? Could she trust him? Would he shatter her heart the way Chase had?

Remembering who she once was, that wild teenager who was unafraid of heartbreak or mistakes, she kissed him gently and he kissed her back. He let her take the lead and she wrapped her arms around his neck, getting lost in him.

He pulled her onto his lap, and she giggled. “Is that better?”

Gavin sat back and grinned, feeling like he’d won the lottery. “For now.”

Sara laughed and smacked his shoulder playfully. She put her head on his chest and listened to his heartbeat.

They had known each other for years, their families long-time friends. But neither had said more than two words to one another, their lives too different to close the gap. Gavin had been motivated, driven, and smart. Sara had been lost, broken, and selfish. But now she felt like he understood her more than anyone.

She desperately wanted to open herself up to him, despite the fear that threatened her heart. “You know, I was fifteen when I started doing drugs and drinking. It was weed at first, then it turned into harder stuff. Eventually, my whole world was crumbling. You already know my history with Thomas and how he was an ass to me, but I thought I deserved it.” She shrugged. “Then came Chase.”

She paused and Gavin didn’t interrupt. She was sharing an intimate part of herself, and he respected her choice to share it with him.

Sara smiled sadly. “He loved me in a way no one else had.”

“He sounds like he was a good guy. Why didn’t it work out? Because you were arrested?”

“Turns out good guys only like bad girls until they’re accused of murder,” she teased.

Gavin smiled, but there was sadness in his eyes.

“No, we actually broke up a week or so before my mother died. He wanted me to settle down and be a stay-at-home-mom with lots of kids. You know, picture perfect family”.

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