Page 277 of The Billionaires

Jane’s nose crinkles. “Why would you use that as fertilizer?”

I shrug. “Something about the bears only digesting thirty percent of the nutrients in wild bamboo. Or maybe it’s a marketing ploy.”

“A weird one,” Jane says, then darts a glance at Leo and blushes.

I check what the problem is.

Done with his treat, Leo has decided to give a certain part of his anatomy a tongue bath to work off the tension from his unconsummated encounter.

I clear my throat. “I hope you don’t mind,” I say to Jane. “I don’t want to shame him for doing that.”

“It’s fine,” Jane says, keeping her gaze on anything but Leo’s tongue. “He’s only doing what all men fantasize about.”

I can’t help myself. “My fantasies involve others.”

As I could’ve predicted, her blush deepens. “Has Leo ever actually had sex?” Jane asks in a clear attempt to change the subject.

I shake my head, Yoda back in action. Not at the thought of Leo having sex, of course, but of a certain small, cute female of the human species doing so.

“Then why is he intact?” Jane presses.

Okay, that topic is also a mood killer, thankfully. “You’ve never done it either, yet no one is suggesting you get fixed, right?”

Impossibly, her cheeks turn another shade redder. “I think when Mom talked me into getting my IUD, the sentiment was similar to that of dog owners.”

I chuckle. “I know it’s silly, but I’ve always pictured myself under the knife and decided I couldn’t do it to Leo. After today, though, I might consider having him get a vasectomy.”

Jane cocks her head. “No sheep-like puppies for him?”

“No.” I scratch my head. “I’m not even sure if he’ll ever get to have sex. I always figured that unless I had a female dog always available for him, letting him try sex would just make him miserable for the majority of the time when it’s not available.”

“Oh?” Jane says. “Is that your self-enforced celibacy talking?”

“Maybe.” I sigh. “But still, one can’t miss what one has never tried.”

Jane’s cheeks reach the infrared zone once again. “I think one can miss it without trying it.”

She has a point. When I was a teen, I was dying to have sex long before any girl was willing to do it with me. Also, we’re back on the topic we really shouldn’t be on… because Yoda.

“I guess I’ll have to find Leo some willing female dog as a girlfriend,” I say, trying to get back to the canines. “I’m sure there are agencies and such that can help me out.”

“Right,” Jane says tentatively. “And since we’re on the subject of devirginization, I’ve been wanting to ask you for a big favor…”

No.

There’s no way she?—

“Adrian,” she says, looking down and blushing even more fiercely. “Would you Grandly Deflower me?”

CHAPTER 27

JANE

I. Can’t. Believe. I. Just. Asked. Him. That.

I blame the picnic, the most romantic activity ever invented. Oh, and the earlier running—it got my heart pumping and my brain must’ve gotten oxygen deprived.

Even the heavenly tea is complicit.

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