Page 185 of The Billionaires

“We can also blast the music loudly,” I say. “Or better yet, have a headphones party.”

“Let’s do the second idea,” Angela says. “Bruce wears headphones at most eating events anyway, and this way, he won’t look like he’s lacking social graces.”

Him wearing headphones doesn’t make him look like he lacks social graces. That honor belongs to whoever eats or drinks in front of him after learning about his condition.

“That’s settled then,” Theodora says. “I’ll invite his friends and hire a DJ who can set up the headphones thing.”

Angela claps her hands excitedly. The party is clearly more for her than for Bruce. “We also need a theme.”

“How about The Witcher?” I blurt.

“The what?” they ask in unison.

How could they not know this? “That’s his favorite book series.”

Theodora looks at Angela meaningfully, then focuses on me. “He told you that?”

I blush. “I happen to like a video game based on said series, and we happened to talk about it.”

“Common interests,” Theodora says approvingly. “Then tell us, if we want that to be the party theme, what should we do?”

I shrug. “Can you find us some outfits that resemble those worn in medieval Eastern Europe?”

Angela gives me a “well, duh” look.

“We can have the men wear swords,” I say, getting into the spirit of things. “And the women can get extra dolled up to resemble the sorceresses of that world.” In The Witcher, the sorceresses use magic to look their best, not unlike this mother and daughter who use plastic surgery, so they will fit their roles well.

“What else?” Angela asks.

“Can you hire a bard?” I suggest.

Angela arches her as-yet-unRogained eyebrow. “A bard?”

“It’s like a minstrel,” I explain. “Think, a guy dressed in a dandy version of the clothing everyone will be wearing, while spouting poetry and playing a lute.”

“Ah, sure,” Angela says. “That should be easy.”

It should be? I guess rich people have access to bards—and probably get them at the same supermarket where they go to buy creepy masks and prostitutes for their Eyes Wide Shut-esque parties.

“The dog should have an outfit,” Theodora says. “Any ideas?”

I grin. “He can be a werewolf—Chihuahua by day, cursed beast by night.”

Theodora and Angela look down at the little ball of fluff dubiously. Are they wondering if werewolf powers are how he’ll keep people eating and drinking away from Bruce?

“Any other option?” Theodora asks.

“He can be a horse,” I say reluctantly. What I don’t add is that I used this idea with my dog for many a Halloween, or that my dog was named after the Witcher’s mount.

“That should be easier on such short notice,” Theodora says.

Oh? So there are limits to the Eyes Wide Shut supermarket. Good to know.

“All right,” Angela says. “We’ve got lots to do, so we’d better get started.”

“May I have your number?” Theodora asks me. “In case I have questions regarding the theme?”

I enter my phone number into her contacts, then take Colossus for another walk.

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