Page 75 of The Right Player
Her eyes were bloodshot, puffy and swollen, morphing her face into something barely recognizable. Auburn hair sat in a pile on top of her head, falling out of the hair tie that tried to wrangle it, and she looked so small in the oversized sweatpants and t-shirt she had on. Her little nose was pink, too, and she sniffed, shaking her head with those blue-green eyes glaring at me like I was evil embodied.
“You’ve got a lot of balls showing up here.”
“Belle, I can explain.”
“You can explain that you lied to me? For months? Literally from the first day I met you?” She shook her head, eyes trailing over me like a bug she was about to smash with her heel. “No, thanks. I figured that out all on my own.”
She went to slam the door, but I stopped it with my palm, stepping my sneaker against it for good measure. “Please, Belle. Just hear me out.”
“What could you possibly have to say right now?” She thrust her hands out, mouth open as if to hammer home the point that I was an idiot for thinking there was any explanation that would undo the pain I’d already caused. “You lied to me, Makoa. You’ve been hiding this… this huge part of who you are, telling me you’re in fucking real estate?” She scoffed, shaking her head.
“I didn’t mean for it to go this far.”
“No? Just how far did you plan for it to go?”
I shook my head, desperation fizzing in my bloodstream like bubbles. “I was going to tell you. Many times before, but every time it just didn’t feel right. But tonight, I was absolutely going to tell you — no matter what.”
“Guess I beat you to it.”
She tried to close the door again, but I pushed against it.
“Belle, just… let me inside. For five minutes. Please?”
She inhaled a hot breath, blowing it out with a wave of her hands as she abandoned me at the door and walked inside. I followed her, gesturing for her to sit on her couch but she denied me, standing with her arms crossed, instead.
Everything inside me longed to hold her. I knew if I could just get her in my arms, if she could feel the way my heart beat only for her, if she could see the sincerity in my eyes when I told her I never meant to hurt her — this would all go away.
But one look at her from across the room told me there wasn’t a shot in hell that I was getting close to her right now.
Here goes nothing.
“I have a complicated record with women,” I started, knowing there really was no perfect way to say everything I needed to. “When I was younger, every girl I tried to give my heart to stuck me firmly in the friend zone. I was too goofy looking, too sweet, too nice. They all wanted men who treated them like they didn’t matter, and I didn’t have it in me to do that.”
I thought I saw Belle’s eyes soften just marginally, but it happened so fast I couldn’t be sure I’d actually seen it at all.
“By the time I got to college, I’d been burned so many times that I just said screw it. I focused everything on football. It was all I did. I ate, slept, and breathed it. It was absolute devotion, the same kind I wanted to give to a woman, but never had the chance to.” I swallowed. “Until Kelly.”
God, just saying her name made my jaw tense.
“Kelly was drop-dead gorgeous, a volleyball player at UH on a scholarship. She was far out of my league in every way possible, but for some reason, when I graduated from college, she started paying attention to me. We went on a few dates and I… well, I was a virgin up until that point, but with her, it finally felt right. We were together several months, and I thought everything was perfect.” I smiled, though it was far from joy I was feeling. “Until I took her to dinner with my teammates on the 49ers and she said, in front of everyone, that the rock I get her better be bigger than the other ones at that table.”
Belle frowned.
“It doesn’t seem like much, but it was the first clue that tipped me off. From there, I paid closer attention, and saw every sign I didn’t see before — like how she always wanted to go out — on my dime, and how she always asked me to buy her an outfit to go out, and she was always pushing me to spend my signing bonus to get a hot new car or take her on a vacation or whatever else. I mean, she was part of the reason I didn’t invest in my apartment in San Francisco. We were always out and going, and there was no time to sit at home, so why bother making it nice?”
