Page 32 of Lily, Unwritten

“Thank you!” I mouthed as I ran to the Uber barefoot, clutching the precious shoes to my chest.

The hotel was a ten-minute drive away. I squeezed my feet into the too small heels; I’d be in agony later, but they were perfect. Sleek, black, tall, very Luke. What the fuck, Lily? Why had I regressed to this again? What was wrong with me?

I hoped everyone at the hotel had been informed; I didn’t want to walk in and he be caught unawares. I sprayed perfume as I checked myself in my compact mirror. My hair looked a little wild, but he’d seen it wilder. My mouth curved into a smile, flashes of those times at the forefront of my mind. My stomach flipped over and over at the thought of being close to Luke.

My heart was on the verge of combustion as the hotel receptionist pointed me towards the conference room. Security stood outside and checked my ID before they let me in. I paused as I reached for the door handle; my hands visibly trembling. You can do this, Lily, it’s just Luke. Remember when he was your best friend. It’s just Luke.

I plastered my best work smile on as I opened the door and looked around the faces… none of which was Luke’s. I wanted to cry, not only because these shoes had cut off the circulation to my toes.

An absolute chill ran from my legs, all the way up to my forehead as I froze. I could feel that he was behind me. Breathe, Lily. Just breathe.

I walked to the empty seat next to the mediator, glanced at Anna and Peter with a brief nod, then focused on the paperwork in front of me while introductions were made.

I could feel Luke’s eyes burn into me, but I didn’t look up. I didn’t dare look up. Instead I doodled on my notepad with the fancy hotel pen, and that’s when I saw my ring. It sparkled away like a bloody beacon under the conference room lights.

I wanted to run outside and cry. Thankfully, the meeting got started at speed. I was making notes for the mediator, looking after all his paperwork and documentation.

I’d forgotten what it was like to be in a room with Luke while he worked, his voice authoritative and strong. I found myself smiling and bit my lip as I looked up, trying to quell the memory of him using that voice on me, but the echo of those times only flashed brighter as my eyes met his.

Instantly. Lost.

Luke’s gaze pulled the air right out of me.

All the noise of the room, the talk of multi-million-pound salaries and withheld visitation rights, it all silenced for me. All I could hear was my heart as it exploded with emotion. Everything I’d kept trapped and locked up in there burst out in a flood around my body, transported through every inch of me with each beat.

It was the hardest thing, but I forced myself to tear my gaze from his, to focus on the work. And so with a sigh, I reached for a glass of water, blinking rapidly to reset my focus.

I knew I’d missed a section of notes and began to scribble, eager to catch up. It was hard to focus; the proximity to Luke was affecting me. A little voice at the back of my mind was also nagging about how exactly I was going to tell Zack about this – was he likely to believe it had been an accident? Sadly, I doubted it.

Thankfully, every single person in this room was an absolute caffeine fiend. It therefore, wasn’t long until a break was called. Even better – the hotel staff were in charge of refreshments; it wasn’t my job for once.

I headed straight outside, cursing the throb and ache in my squashed toes. I was boiling hot and needed the fresh air. I leant against the outside of the hotel as I sucked in deep breaths; my hot exhalations caused clouds of steam in the cold December air. One of those breaths paused in my body as I realized that Luke had followed me. He grabbed me by the arm and pulled me into a side alley, away from the main street.

He stood in silence, watching me. His eyes never left mine. His hand reached up as if to move a stray hair from my face as the wind whipped it around, but he stopped himself.

“I wasn’t meant to ever see you again.” His voice was soft and melodic to my ears.

“I know. I didn’t know about this until ten minutes before I got here. I tried to get out of it…”

“You didn’t want to see me?”

“I’ve been desperate to see you. Doesn’t mean it’s a good idea, though.”

He sighed, his breath long and slow. I’d forgotten how tall he was, how much presence he had, how good he smelled. I took a deep breath, wanting to inhale his very soul into me.

“I don’t know what to say,” Luke sighed as he spoke.

“I get why you did what you did, but… I don’t think you should’ve done it.”

He took hold of my hand and held it up, my engagement ring glossy in the light. “It worked for you, though, didn’t it?”

We surveyed each other for the longest moment, the ebb and flow of time always felt different when we were together.

“I better go back in,” he said, breaking the silence. “Maybe we could get a drink later? Would you be able to?”

I nodded. “Zack’s in Iceland.”

Luke opened his mouth as if to speak, then stopped himself and walked away. I remained where I was, frozen as I attempted to breathe and focus.

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