Page 27 of Lily, Unwritten

“Sorry!” She bit her lip coyly as she walked away. Zack appeared oblivious to her as he focused his eyes on me.

“Why would you not tell me?” His voice was deadpan. I hadn’t heard the conversation, but I knew exactly what this was.

“Well, I only found out yesterday, and then I was with Cassie, and this is the first time I’ve seen you properly and?—”

“Lily, stop,” he sighed, and I noticed his fingers were clenched into a fist. “Let’s get a drink. I don’t want to talk about it out here.”

I almost had to jog to keep up with him, which wasn’t easy in heels. I seemed to be permanently in trouble. He marched into a pub around the corner, making a vague effort to hold the door open for me. I sat at a small table by the window as he stood at the bar, his shoulders hunched. The place was dimly lit, almost as if the nicotine smoke cloud of years ago still remained.

His lips were pursed together as he sat and pushed a miserable looking wine towards me over the sticky, wooden table. He drank from a whisky glass, and everything about his posture screamed of tension. I swallowed, not knowing what to say.

“So?” Zack glared at me as he spoke.

“There’s not a lot to say. I found out yesterday. I’d already said yes to the role. It’s not like he’ll be around the office.”

“You’ll be thinking about him all the time again.”

“Zack, if I wanted to think about him I would. It’s not like a horrible child custody case is going to make me want him back,” I said. “If I say I don’t want to do this now, I’ll look a total idiot at work.”

“See, again you’re putting other stuff ahead of me. Work, Cassie, him, everything comes before me,” Zack’s voice was eerily calm.

“That is not true! I wouldn’t ask you to put yourself into an awkward position at work. It’s not fair. If I was going to be sat in a room with him for the next six months, I could see your point, but I won’t even see him.”

“Then why didn’t you mention it?” asked Zack, his tone remained calm.

“Because this is the first chance I’ve had. I found out yesterday and then I went out with Cassie. I already explained this. I was out telling her that you don’t want me to help her. There doesn’t seem to be much you do want me to do.” I sat back and gazed out of the window as I chewed on my lip in a sulk.

“Don’t try and make me feel bad for trying to build something special here. If it was up to me, this time next year we’d be living in our house, married, and having a baby. If I leave it up to you, you’d be running around after him and letting Cassie have your baby.”

“It’s not a her or us scenario, both could happen, you know?” I couldn’t help but raise my voice, and I could see it made him mad.

“I want you to tell Margaret you changed your mind about working on the case.” His eyes bore into my own as he spoke, waiting to judge my reaction.

“They already sorted my cover out, did all the paperwork - I can’t.”

“Of course you can. Plans change all the time.”

It felt like the two of us played a dangerous game of chicken as we both watched each other. Neither one of us wanted to fold.

“You know I don’t like it when you tell me what to do.”

“You know I don’t like it when you put me at the bottom of your priorities. Look, forget it. I’ll go stay with my folks tonight. You just do your little figuring out what you want act. Again.” He stood up, downed his whisky, and without a glance back at me, he left.

My heart pumped furiously with anger; I didn’t know what was up with him these past few weeks. He literally just wanted me to sit around the house, have babies and not see anyone else. I hadn’t done anything to make him that insecure… but in my heart I knew I had.

Bloody Anna. If she’d kept her mouth shut I could’ve explained it all on my own terms, but now he thought I’d hidden it. Which, to be honest, was sort of true.

I trudged to the train station, utterly deflated. My mood didn’t improve upon arriving home alone to find the table still full of wedding magazines, plus a list of house viewings that Zack had booked for the weekend.

I called Cassie for a whinge, and it turned out Guy was in the doghouse too. She announced she was coming over and bringing gin.

“He is such an arse!” Cassie exclaimed as she walked in, thrusting a bottle towards me. “He promised me he wouldn’t miss parents evening again.”

“To be fair, he was working, and she’s only in year one. You wouldn’t have been discussing exam results.” Cassie shot me a death glare, and I immediately closed my mouth.

“Sod him, anyway. Sod them all! I brought pyjamas, let him sort the school run out in the morning.”

I smiled to myself as I poured our drinks in the kitchen. Whenever Cassie and Guy fought, it was over within twenty-four hours; I knew this wasn’t serious. Wasn’t so sure about Zack, however.

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