Page 9 of Lily, Unwritten

“Looking at this it’s… five days each month? That’s not so bad. It’s only a short flight. I could sneak away with you; you could lock me in your hotel room like a dirty secret, they wouldn’t know.”

Zack laughed. “That does sound pretty appealing. I just worry that maybe now isn’t the right time. I’d be concerned about your…” He chewed his lip before he continued. “Mindset, if I was away.”

I let out a slow breath. “Zack, please don’t let what we did affect your choice here. You’re who I want. I understand if you don’t trust me right now, but honestly, if you went away, you wouldn’t need to worry about me. It’s done, that whole episode is done.”

“I hate that I have to say this. But I’d worry that it would be an opportunity for you to see him.” Zack put his knife and fork down, his eyes sharp and focused as he paid complete attention to me.

“And you don’t think I’d be worried about you staying in that hotel again? Going to that bar again? We have to trust each other.” I reached for his hand and stroked across it, back and forth. “I wouldn’t see him. When I came back here, to you, I swore to myself I wasn’t ever going to hurt you again. I understand why you feel reticent. Please believe me, I don’t ever intend to see him again. You’re it for me. I love you.”

He placed his hand on top of mine and held it still. “Ninety per cent of the time, I feel that, Lily, but every now and then you just look like you’re somewhere else; you look sad. In those times, I feel like you regret it. Part of me wants to know how you decided to come back to me, part of me is petrified of the truth.”

I walked around the small table and slid sideways onto his knee with my arms wrapped around his neck. He held me against him and brushed soft kisses upon my cheek. “Yes, there are moments I feel sad, not going to deny it. Putting everything else aside, I lost a best friend who had been through traumatic times with me.” I looked into those deep, brown eyes as I spoke, the beautiful swirls of chocolate and caramel within the iris, under thick lashes. “For each sad moment, though, I have a thousand others where I’m happy. Happy because I’m with you. Beyond happy. I love you; I love our life. That weekend was painful. I don’t dwell on it for that reason, but if you want to know details, I will tell you. We can’t keep revisiting it though, I want us to move forwards, not backwards.”

“Has he been in touch with you at all? Would you tell me if he was?” Zack asked.

“No, he hasn’t. The last time I spoke to him, we agreed it was clear we couldn’t carry on our friendship. I removed his number from my phone. I went to look at his socials before I set off home, more to check he was OK than anything else, and he’d already blocked me. We aren’t in touch in any way and don’t plan to be. I don’t expect to ever hear from him again, but if I did, I promise I would tell you. I wouldn’t risk what we have.”

“You know that phone call we had while you were away?” Zack asked, his eyebrows knitted together in that tell-tale sign of tension of his. He continued when I nodded in acknowledgement. “Did you do that with him too?”

“I can say, with all honesty, I’ve never done that with anyone but you. It always seemed a natural occurrence between us, much to my embarrassment in the early days.” I smiled as the memories flooded my mind. “That’s purely a you and me thing.”

He kissed the tip of my nose. “Is there anything else I should know? I don’t want us to bring it up again. If there is - say it now.”

“No, the only thing that matters is that I’m home, with you.”

“Subject done then?” asked Zack with a hopeful smile.

“You won’t stay in that hotel, will you?” I asked, somewhat scared of the answer.

“Never. I don’t want to. I wouldn’t.”

“Subject is done then.” I confirmed with a kiss. “So, Iceland?”

“I think I want to do it.” Zack grinned. He looked pleased with himself, and who could blame him? He worked hard and was so good at his job, seems the charms that had got me that day in the coffee shop worked wonders on his clients too. “Plus, if we put that signing bonus in with the money we already saved up, we could buy a house now, wouldn’t have to wait.”

I swung around so that my legs straddled him and the back of the dining chair, our eyes still focused on each other. “I want to buy a house with you.”

Zack reached up and ran his fingers down the length of my hair. “Let’s do it then. The job, the house, us, the full package. You’re my everything.” He pulled me into a deep and delicious kiss; the wooden chair creaked ominously as our bodies pressed against it.

“Your breakfast’s getting cold,” I whispered.

“I don’t care…”

Four

Three months later, Zack’s last day at work was imminent, and it coincided with my last birthday in my twenties.

“Happy birthday, perfect girl,” Zack said as soon as my eyes began to open. I drowsily focused on him, he was sat up, an eager grin on his face, his eyes sparkling with excitement.

I wrapped my arms around him, all sleepy and warm. “It’s Saturday, let’s stay here,” I said as I kissed his chest.

“But I’ve got surprises. Get up.” He placed a delicious and soft kiss to my lips; he’d already brushed his teeth.

“Your hair looks sexy,” I said as I cuddled up closer.

“You’re going to leave me if I go bald, aren’t you?” he teased with one of his mischievous smiles.

“No comment.” I ran my hands down his side.

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